tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-86147274607466048022024-03-12T17:10:37.174-07:00M.A. MamaTeaching Journal for TEYLUnknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger101125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-58610470920366337272015-02-21T01:55:00.000-08:002015-02-21T01:55:20.782-08:00Final comment on my MAThe last 5 months have been the most nerve-wracking time of my life. But all my efforts and achings paid off: I got M.A degree with distinction (meaning honor I think). Oddly enough, my emotional roller coaster reached the top when I sent the dissertation to my university in the UK. So, when I got the result with an honorable award, I felt strangely calm. I felt the sense of achievement and self-indulging excitement only when I announced the result on Facebook and received numerous warm comments from my friends.<br />
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At the moment, I've been thinking what's next while my daughter is doing her best to get into the high school she would like to be for the next three years and my partner is doing his best to get a PhD. I'm not anxious about their results. I'm sure they will get what they deserve and they deserve what they wish to have. Perhaps this is what I've learned from MA course. I don't need to worry what I get because I deserve what I deserve anyway. Lots of luck with supports will follow when you can imagine what you need to do and do the best you can. So, here is the path of success of your goal:<br />
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1 Dream.<br />
2 Imagine how you get the dream come true.<br />
3 Do it!<br />
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DID will get you what you desire eventually. When my daughter was the first grader in a primary school, I had only the Japanese high school diploma. As my daughter is about to become 10th grader this spring, I have a master's degree in TESOL. It is quite an achievement for a lazy and dreamy mum like myself. I have been a dreamer ever since I was born. I can easily imagine something, but I never had steadfast determination to realize the dreams until I had this beautiful baby and the sense of responsibility.<br />
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The first challenge was to quit smoking when I conceived my daughter. I dreamed to have a healthy baby, imagined how I could quit smoking and did it. Her presence in my belly got the steadfast determination to achieve this goal. I was a heavy smoker (Three packs a day: a chain smoker) and it wasn't an easy job.<br />
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The second challenge was to get a driver's license within the minimum amount of time and cost when my daughter was 2. I dreamed places where I can go with my baby in a car, imagined how I could get the license within a few months and did it. Driving skill is, by the way, one of the most useful skills a mum can have since there are many more occasions than you can ever imagine when you need to get to a certain place (for instance, the hospital) as fast as possible desperately.<br />
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The third challenge came to my mind when she entered a primary school. While I was nagging her to do her best at school, I thought to myself, "I should go back to school and do my best if I tell her to do so." It took me one year to get all the required documents and put myself together. I enrolled in a university to get my BA degree through corresponding course, as my daughter became a second grader. I dreamed to graduate the <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="574a891c-13c8-4ad5-8b34-95e136345242" id="08334e4e-3da4-4949-9032-6d54c1b404ce">uni</span> as she graduates her primary school, imagined how to get all the credits by then and did it.<br />
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Then the latest challenge came right after the third as my daughter entered a junior high. This time I was more interested in how far I could go on the academic ladder. I dreamed to be awarded MA in the UK, imagined how to work on it and did it. This time, my daughter didn't motivate me in a direct manner, yet her constant criticism and rebellious behavior brought my unyielding spirit. With lots of support from my friends and family, I was able to maintain my determination.<br />
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Now it's my daughter's turn to realize her goal and she's shown me how mature and wise she has become. Her spirit inspires me to set a new goal. I can't fully imagine how I pull it off yet. But when I do, you know I will do it :-)<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-18795057196554972552014-09-23T20:28:00.002-07:002014-09-23T20:31:23.279-07:00A book of messages.This morning, I saw my daughter struggling to go to school. I know the face with a little anxiety and less motivation. She had it when she had a tough time at the beginning of this year. I asked her if she was ok and she nodded in a way she wasn't. There is not much I can do to help her except to hope that she would be strong enough to go through one of the most complex period time of her life, especially in the age of 15 before the entrance exam to a high school. The air at school must be intense and everyone gets edgy. I can only imagine how insecure and nervous she feels now because of the uncertainty of the future ahead of her. It seemed impossible to face and deal with the tests you have to take in the school days. It is precious when it's over, but when you are in the middle of it, you want to escape from the stress from time to time. Perhaps she was in such a pessimistic state of mind this morning. I felt the heaviness in the air around her. After sending her off to school, I came to a cafe and talked with one of my dearest friends in Canada via Skype chat for a few hours about my worries and our future projects. I felt calmer and positive after <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="ff23fe9b-e29c-4a7f-be52-3d5f4969e4b5" id="ce7ceef4-73bb-4ff6-883d-019e1ef87c88"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="2ab1742b-cfbf-4666-9df2-87fbcec78488" id="f95b4702-781a-49f9-bf3d-d2778907edc6">having a nice chat</span></span> with him. MCU. <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="e324e71b-bf20-453e-ab14-d4738c222398" id="3394b51b-9fed-4bb5-a1b3-e44cb4f72b6c"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="97369340-dffb-4f77-9a67-16c7e6295636" id="ed5c0fe5-71b5-4158-88bd-a40ccc645d19">( </span></span><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="e324e71b-bf20-453e-ab14-d4738c222398" id="30d69855-bf8e-49d0-9e6f-5952b4122534"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="97369340-dffb-4f77-9a67-16c7e6295636" id="32c71852-8892-42fc-bc15-dbb8083b9ccb">his</span></span> nickname)<br />
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Then I decided to plan for the Halloween party with kids. While I was searching for a book to share for the occasion with kids on Amazon, I found two new books that Momo's favorite author, Naoko Maehashi, published. A book has been one of a means to communicate with her heart. I've been telling her an important message when I get it borrowing other's voice via words of a book. Since this author's words touch her heart the most effectively, I hope this book also talk to her well, reminding her how rebellious and unbeatable her soul is. <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="5697efd5-65ff-41c1-a8c5-e01379b8a768" id="d2343d80-eee0-4a6e-9c8a-6e5e323d3b6b">Momo</span> has learned so many lessons from books, especially Children's literature and the ability to connect with words in the deepest sense is one of her gifts. </div>
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While I was struggling with my own matters, I might have missed the signs she sent to me for supports. My words from the mouth might not comfort her enough but I am sure the books will do the job. It is a gift for me to hear reviews of books she read. I look forward to sitting down at a cafe with her and listen to her interpretation of the books. </div>
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-83974481338942017622014-08-07T19:40:00.000-07:002014-08-07T19:42:12.781-07:00Final stage of M.A. Mama<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Apple Casual";">This blog has been
inactive since the last post in March: I’ve been through one of the most
critical phases of my life. The good news is it’s been educational and
rewarding in terms of my personal and professional development.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Apple Casual";">Personally, I have
had a breakthrough or <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="abd2feeb-1c1d-4eb3-a72b-295f4b9ab9e6" id="f304ef33-4797-4d37-96c5-eaa4d5b3fc9a">a Eureka moment</span> as a mum. As my daughter, Momo decided to
go to a public school from her private school, my role as one of the
decision-makers of her life to a financial sponsor of her project, called life.
This radical shift was more nerve-wracking and challenging than I’ve imagined.
I have no idea how many times I bite my tongue, literally. Whenever she looked
disturbed, I had to look away to make myself zip this interfering mouth.
Whenever she says her troubles aloud, I needed to tell myself not to give her
any responses in my own perspectives before she reaches her won response to the
issue at hand. Oh, how simple my <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="b974d4eb-f1f7-49a7-89ce-92b824b59355" id="f798c31c-ddfd-4051-b4b9-684250d27d63">motherhood</span> was a few years ago in Momo’s
pre-teen era. Her troubles mean her demands for my help. Within this asymmetrical
relationship I can always feel powerful queen of justice and compassion. I can
indulge in the role, feeling like a VIP of the entire universe.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Apple Casual";">But as soon as the
little girl entered self-realizing phase of her life, she started developing
critical thinking skill, which denies any interferences of her own thinking
process. It was so fast development that I couldn’t follow and because of the
mental gap between the <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="6066235c-a4dc-4967-8947-b5563acd4bcd" id="97fe04c9-1aec-4555-81e2-b4a765b19702">mum</span> and the daughter, constant conflicts occurred. It
was the daughter who brought the concord within the conflict by stating the
declaration of her independence. She even clearly stated the obligations as a
parent, I must follow, including the human rights to be protected and cared
physically and mentally in terms of the UN convention (<a href="http://www.unicef.org.uk/UNICEFs-Work/Our-mission/UN-Convention/">http://www.unicef.org.uk/UNICEFs-Work/Our-mission/UN-Convention/</a>).
“Who told you this?” was my question to the statement and her answer was, of
course, “You did.” Indeed, I learn things in a hard way.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Apple Casual";">Professionally, I
finally reached the last stage of my MA course: Dissertation. Luckily, I had
enough time and supports to complete the first draft of my dissertation in the
first week of August 2014. I started to feel hopeful to turn in the paper in November
2014 instead of April 2015, which is much earlier than the plan I’ve made in
the first module. It depends on the meeting I will have with my tutor at the
end of this summer: She might suggest so many revisions.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Apple Casual";">This thesis is a
portfolio of my work in the MA course and a gateway of my life as a teacher/
researcher in the field of TEYL.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<span style="font-family: "Apple Casual";">The parallel
personal and professional development in the couple of months transformed and
empowered me as a member of “World society” (<a href="http://www.e-ir.info/2013/05/14/world-society-as-humankind/">http://www.e-ir.info/2013/05/14/world-society-as-humankind/</a>)<o:p></o:p></span></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-36731805194765017182014-03-27T17:59:00.001-07:002014-03-27T17:59:09.195-07:00Butterfly<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/89izB9CYJE8" width="480"></iframe><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="52523f05-9dcc-424f-8d59-fcada490e7f8" id="fd86a8eb-8399-4451-a650-34a620714384">i</span><br />
<br />
As soon as I held my little baby in my arm on the night she was born, I experienced something I've never felt. Perhaps it was "LOVE". Unconditional one. As the little girl grows older, my expectations grow as well. "She can be something and changes the world." Whatever she did in her childhood was a miraculous progress to me and formed my belief that she would make a beautiful butterfly. As she marched into her teenage era, suddenly my perception towards her was questioned. My little girl started acting out in a way that I had never seen, trying to rip off the colors and patterns I have painted on her wings. Panic came in. My Project - Get her back on the "right track"- launched. What I failed to remember was she was a different person from myself, although she carries some gene from both of her biological parents. She is a beautifully complex human-being who has unique characteristics and is capable of being responsible for her choices. It took me a year to really realize what she needs, wants and her potentials. I knew this kind of humanistic perspective and studied in my research paper. It has also been my philosophy for everything I do. But I was trapped with the blindness of socially constructed "rightness" of parenting. But this type of discipline tends to be conditional. By definition, Love should be unconditional, but my actions and words towards my daughter contradicted my belief. I tried to stop her before she stumbled without knowing how my supports deprive her of developing her potential. While I struggled to put her in the perceived rightness of mine, she suffered and lost all the motivations to live as who she was. We were stuck in a socially constructed box of rightness and almost choked to death.<br />
<br />
The good news of human tendency is when you are in the darkness, instinctively you search for the light. And I knew from my experiences, my experienced mum friends are the light to reach. So I did.<br />
By some of big slaps on my silly face, my senses came back and started breathing again. With the opened up senses, I managed to listen to my daughter's current voice. It wasn't fully convincing or the best choice under her circumstances, yet it was her choice. "I don't want to go to the private high school. I want to go to a public high school in this city."<br />
<br />
My inner dialog had been just too ugly to publish. It was as if two characters fight within myself: Maternal instinct <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="858b216a-3f26-4791-b55a-4c6ac7fb6f33" id="2809ad2e-6a4a-4228-a266-f4f386c8c592">vs</span> Socially constructed right parenthood. But fortunately the feeling I held her in my arms for the first time, the maternal instinct prevailed. Thanks to all of my friends for offering the insightful comments and the courage I needed to say, "Oh-oh. I was wrong It is not my job to color and paint her wings".<br />
<br />
<br />
From the moment I admitted my error, I was quick enough to call all the institutions and experts to support my daughter's decision. From April, my daughter will wear a different uniform and goes to a local junior high school. I don't know if this is the "right" move or not. Besides, any radical reformations take a bit of the aches. She might have to suffer from the different types of aches. But avoiding errors and aches does not resolve anything. In fact, it numbs the youthful hearts and souls leaving them only colorless life. By giving a freedom to make errors and experience aches, the youth may come out from their cocoons and become uniquely beautiful butterflies.<br />
<br />
What I wish to see is the day when my daughter flies away like a butterfly, whatever the colors and patterns she may chose to wear. <br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-13270732268363510312014-03-19T17:52:00.001-07:002014-03-19T17:52:22.784-07:00Notes for a story to make with my young learners.I've been pondering about an idea, a series of short episode of a Japanese girl. Her findings through her innocent and curious eyes. Her name can be Momo and her pet cat named, Brownie from its color. Perhaps one little boy, Morrie moved in her suburban town in Tokyo from the UK. Each episode, Momo and Morrie learn something about their differences and their remembrance. Brownie always joins their mental and physical journey as a mediator as the nature represents.<br />
<br />
Episode 1 New <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="a51da731-96a0-423a-8385-47df122ce09f" id="d3369f98-3455-4f60-b5c4-6acdba7c1335">neighbour</span><br />
Episode 2 New mate<br />
Episode 3 At the park<br />
Episode 4 At the supermarket<br />
Episode 5 Lunch time<br />
Episode 6 At school<br />
Episode 7 Sleep over<br />
Episode 8 The Secrets<br />
Episode 9 The bullies<br />
Episode 10 The diary<br />
<br />
Each episode requires some things to decide like the main character hobbies, friends' names, families and their names, ages, works and hobbies. I can ask the kids to decide these details and make this story a collaborative work!<br />
<br />
Oh, I will start drawing the characters :-)<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-66690162723161723372014-03-14T14:57:00.002-07:002014-03-14T14:57:44.238-07:00Why do we read?: Empathy<a href="http://ideas.time.com/2013/06/03/why-we-should-read-literature/">http://ideas.time.com/2013/06/03/why-we-should-read-literature/</a><br />
<br />
The title of the article says "Why should we read?" but my puzzle is, "Why do we read?". My daughter has become a bookworm and nicknamed, Kinko after a Kinjoro Minomiya who is famous as an intensive and extensive reader (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninomiya_Sontoku">http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ninomiya_Sontoku</a>). She was addicted to stories and always carry a book in her hand wherever she went before iPhone era. She still reads, but book addiction has shifted to online addiction. Some may argue she still reads a lot of texts online and it is just a matter of different platform to read- from Physical book to digital ones. But I have been wondering if it is the case. My heart tells me that these are absolutely different experiences. There is some kind of magic to the reading with physical books, but I couldn't say articulately what it is. This article with scientific researches did the job for me. It is the depth of reading. The simple paper and ink nothing else invites you to the world of stories, the collaborative work of storytelling with the author of the book. It takes your mind to live in the story. The simplicity of the physical books allows you to have the space to be as creative and imaginative as you can be. Within the space or the entity, you become a co-author of the story. But such reading takes some time and space to be immersed. In the fast-paced and instant online world, the depth and freedom of the mind will most likely suffer in order to catch up the speed and distracted by so many other stimuli.<br />
<br />
The human race has a fairly long history and evolved constantly. But for a simple minded person like myself, a deep thinking process requires simplicity of a physical book and inner dialogue with its author. Without such a deep thinking process, some feelings such as empathy that requires vivid imagination and sensitivity to all your senses can't be developed. Without empathy, your sentiments are paralyzed and become edgy and abusive at worst.<br />
<br />
In the children's conversation, I often hear those abusive words are exchanged so casually and frequently. I wonder how you can feel someone else's aches and how you can live in peace and harmony with others without empathy.<br />
<br />
Yesterday I got one of bestseller books about a high school girl who transformed from F student to A+ and entered Keio university, one of prestigious academic institutions in Japan. On the journey from the bottom to the top, she met some inspiring literature and a teacher and realized her potential and acquired empathy. Now this book is in my daughter's hand who is standing at a crucial time of her life. I am sure this story resonates with her and inspires her to hear her true voice.<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-34969260355934374612014-03-08T01:14:00.000-08:002014-03-08T01:14:03.066-08:00A note before writing the last chapter of MA Mama.Back in 2011, I was skeptical if I would be able to enroll the TESOL master's course at Aston. To my surprise, I got enough overall score in IELTS in the first attempt. With a little mistake in paper work, my enrollment became official in April, 2012. By July in 2012, I managed to pass the foundation module which was the first introductory module of the course. By March in 2013, I passed the second module which was the most challenging one for me, Methodology with so many struggling. Passing this module accelerated my motivation to complete the third module, the most unfamiliar one, Written and Spoken Discourse Analysis. With so many helping hands and minds, I completed the paper by October, 2013. Having written two research papers in one year got me a wild aim to complete the third one. Due to the familiarity of the module, Teaching Young Learners, I could achieve the challenging goal. As soon as I completed the third research paper, I registered the fifth module, The Course and Material Design in January, 2014. And today, I have received an official letter from Aston which notifies me that I have earned 80 credits. I got two months to write the last module assignment and the dissertation awaits for me to nail down.<br />
As I have said so many times, this is the biggest academic challenge for me to pursue. What I have learned so far and insights to worth sharing is that even a mediocre person like myself with no particular talent might be able to achieve something unimaginable with determination and lots and lots of helping hands from brilliant minds. I haven't gotten the degree yet, but the journey so far has been full of unexpected discoveries. I got a feeling that I would find more of myself at the end of this journey regardless of the outcome. Of course, I would love to write the last chapter with successful ending, but I have no question that it will be a happy one.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-10423772710805658652014-02-21T16:58:00.000-08:002014-02-21T17:00:22.698-08:00Unexpected wordsI am a quitter. I admit I get interested in so many things. But I never accomplished anything to be a pro-level. Then why haven't I quit learning English with the kids? This question is a recurrent one and pop up in my mind now and then. <br />
<br />
Yesterday, I realized, "That's it! Because of this kind of moment!" This moment happened yesterday when I told <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="4dfce5fb-ebef-4c0f-ac9e-9a0b4477fec6" id="e3a5ccd8-1dd5-4035-931e-ceb739cf6dd3"><span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="46fabac6-b099-49da-be89-4da6fc6d1e00" id="42b74ac5-9ac5-4974-b94e-8778fcaf7d82">kids</span></span> that I might not be able to see them in the next academic year because I have no idea where I would work. I expected total apathy from them because the class has been super noisy and some kids got an attitude of teens. Their faces often say, "Whatever.." to me. And also it was the open school day, but nobody even tried to participate in the lesson, showing no motivation nor interests at all. I thought it was a total failure and the middle finger in my face. So, I didn't expect any of surprised faces. In fact, I expected no emotions from kids. To my surprise, some kids went, "Oh, no!" And those who got the attitudes said, "Boo<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="fcfb226c-c4aa-4e93-9561-20cf02f1a98b" id="67834691-3f06-4e58-b3e6-9331d8e0ab92">!</span>I want you to be our English teacher!" While I was in shock to utter anything, one of the noisiest and most challenged kids said to me,<br />
<br />
<i><b>I prefer you to teach us English. I don't understand English much, but I like your classes. </b></i><br />
<br />
In my twisted grown-up mind started asking those questions: Was he joking? Is that sarcasm? He didn't mean it? Is that real? But then, I didn't care whether he meant it or not. That's what he said and it means a lot to me. I felt sad to know how my mind work nowadays for a second. Then, with all the mixed emotions came up from the heart and I was speechless for a while trying to hold the tears. "...... Wow, " I said and looked into his eyes. They were sincere without any hints of smart-ass-ness.<br />
<br />
From his words, I realized I might be able to conceal my feelings, but I judged them only through my narrow perspective. It was disgustingly arrogant of me to judge some of kids just because they do not act as I expected. I really disgust myself from time to time. I learned again from <span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="333317e3-6c69-49aa-9de8-9c291cbfe3d7" id="f0c3d758-1711-4162-90e6-bd0b99d0abe5">kids</span> that I should never assume how they feel. Never<span class="GINGER_SOFTWARE_mark" ginger_software_uiphraseguid="d60bc3ae-9526-4926-86ca-d9d61baf5bfc" id="9dccb482-8951-469d-9a29-f95d77da5d91">!</span>Never!<br />
<br />
If I ever get a chance to learn English with him again, I will thank him and promise that I would do my best. I might also ask him to help me to make the class more pleasurable via listening to each other more.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-52243682920408196322014-01-18T15:58:00.000-08:002014-01-19T00:19:05.140-08:00Rain Won'tAt the end of next month, I was asked to recite a poem, Ame ni mo makezu, written by one of the most well-known poets in Japan, Miyazawa Kenji at a morning assembly of an elementary school. This poem must have been translated into English by more than several writers but this latest version was published by a publisher in Kunitachi where I work. The head master found the newspaper article about this book of the poetry and ordered it to share with children. In the previous year, he asked all the students to recite the original poetry and most of students have learned by heart. When he got the book, he had an idea to exploit the beauty of humble Japanese spirit into the language learning via bilingual reciting sessions. I was impressed with his passion and agreed to help his project. So, from next week, I will introduce this poem to the 5th graders and have them recite some lines in order to have a collaborative reciting session at the end of Feb in their English class. In order to introduce it to children, I started practicing,<br />
<br />
<br />
<i>Rain won't stop me.</i><br />
<i>Wind won't stop me.</i><br />
<i>Neither will driving snow.</i><br />
<i>Sweltering summer heat will only raise my determination.</i><br />
<br />
<br />
This kind of Japanese spirit can be witnessed in some areas of the post-modern society but it can be considered as out-dated and even too self-sacrificing. In fact, my spoilt mind, brought up in the post-modern era started to think, "Emm...this sounds amazing but I would like to stop when it rains so hard and the summer heat will definitely eliminate my determination..." But when I got to the following lines, I stopped reading and started thinking about a person I met at the first JALT conference back in 2011 that I participated as a volunteer.<br />
<br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>With a body built for endurance,</i><br />
<i>a heart free of greed,</i><br />
<i>I'll never lose my temper,</i><br />
<i>trying always keep</i><br />
<i>a quiet smile on my face.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<br />
I didn't know who he was but a tall and big person with a warm and gentle smile on his face, came up to me after having the chaotic lunch curry task. The lunch duty was just like a nightmare with storm of complaints due to the errors we have made. We, the student volunteers, felt incompetent and completely down at that time. My stress level reached at the maximum and lost the excitements I felt in the morning because of the major mess we couldn't manage to handle well. Then, this person gave me a quiet smile and said in a quiet tone without any hints of sarcasm,<br />
<br />
<i>I was quite amused. I ordered seafood curry but I discovered it was chicken in my curry later. (chuckled pleasantly) Very mysterious and interesting lunch. Thank you.</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
That kind of humor in his words was exactly what I needed to hear then. Because of his words and presence, I managed to spend a superb time with other volunteers for the rest of the day. To my surprise, I found out that this person was the president of JALT much later. I didn't get a chance to thank him in person for his consideration and the quiet smile.<br />
<br />
I will learn this poem by heart in memory of this gentle man with the quiet smile and a heart free of greed and anger, Mr. Cleary.<br />
<br />
<i>All this is my goal - the person</i><br />
<i>I wanted to become.</i><br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-78601588107210738922014-01-13T04:28:00.001-08:002014-01-13T04:32:42.084-08:002014 New year's resolution My uncle passed away a few days ago. I have no idea how he felt about his life. I don't know what his last word was. But I am quite sure that he lived his life in the way he believed. He was a hard worker, brought up two sons, loved his wife, cared his family and lived frugally. His favorite phrase was, "Luxury is the enemy". His little pleasure was drinking after work at a local bar with his wife. But after his wife died young, he even stopped going to a bar. He sat and had some sake at home alone most of the time. But I'd like to think that he felt content in his last moment because he loved his family including his grand children and was loved by them. I hope he reunites with his wife and rests in peace next to her.<br />
<br />
Lately I really wished time would pass more rapidly with all the troubles I faced. Because I forgot life is really short and everything shall pass including sweet moments I cherish. Tonight I am in the living room, sitting on the sofa alone, thinking how fragile and brief yet so precious one's life is and asking myself how I would like to live.<br />
<br />
The answer is quite simple: I would like to live mindfully. I would like to smile, breath and go slow as I deal things one at a time as if every moment is the last one. This will be my mantra this year: Smile, breath and go slow.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-19812446913708352232013-12-23T19:50:00.000-08:002013-12-24T03:35:46.912-08:00A Christmas Story "Christmas, Christmas ever so overestimated annual event! " my mum screamed in the early morning. Her cry got us all get out of bed immediately and rushed into the kitchen.<br />
<br />
In the kitchen, we all found Mum in her PJ, sitting on the floor, covered with white powder.<br />
<br />
"Ah, are you ok?" Dad was the first one to dare to start a conversation.<br />
<br />
"What do you think?" was her response. "Hah? Don't you see how upset I am? You have no idea why I am so upset, don't you? Hah? No idea at all!"<br />
<br />
It wasn't exactly a promising comment for a nice and cozy family breakfast to take place. I was determined to contribute my idea to lighten up the heavy air and said,<br />
<br />
"Can I have breakfast? I am hungry."<br />
<br />
It was one of the worst lines I have ever uttered in my life.<br />
<br />
"You just don't care, do you? I'm just a cook or a servant to you all, am't I? No interests for how I feel or what I do! You just don't give a thought about my well-being, my feelings, my life!!! I am just like a pot in the kitchen providing food, fulfilling your empty stomach. Or, or, or just a hoover cleaning the mess you make. I am not even visible to ya, am't I? You don't look at me. You don't notice any changes in me at all. You don't appreciate my presence at all. Why do I bother to cook, clean and organize the bloody Christmas party for people who don't respect and care my being?"<br />
<br />
She was absolutely in a chaotic state of mind. She screamed lines and lines of hurting words like sharp knives in the core of your heart as she smashed dishes and glasses on the floor. It was more frightening than most of horror movies I've even seen. Dad and I stood helplessly beside Mum, wishing desperately her emotional tempest would eventually go away.<br />
<br />
"Honey."<br />
<br />
"Don't you Honey me now, you heartless bugger. What have you done for me lately? You just come home exhausted and sit on the couch sipping beer, doing nothing at all. What comes out from the mouth is either the depressing sigh or 'Oh, dear.' You go out on your own with your mates and have fun outside. I always sit on the bloody kitchen chair alone, asking what happen to my happy days with laughters and full of music and friends to share the joy of being. "<br />
<br />
"Ah..."<br />
<br />
"You just don't listen to me, don't you? You don't care what I think, do you? Do you???"<br />
<br />
"em...May I say something?"<br />
<br />
"I am asking, am't I?"<br />
<br />
"Right. Excuse my stupidity but I do care about you, my dear."<br />
<br />
"No, you don't."<br />
<br />
"Well, I am not here to argue with you on the matter. But I do know how I feel and I do care about you. I truly do."<br />
<br />
"Then why don't you help me out for the house work?"<br />
<br />
"I do when I can. But why do we argue on who do washings or not in such an early morning on Christmas Eve? Why did you start making cake in the morning?"<br />
<br />
"Just because I invited some friends over the Christmas dinner and wanted to make it so special!"<br />
<br />
"Did you ask us to help you out?"<br />
<br />
"No. But you should volunteer for helping!"<br />
<br />
"Well, I am sorry but I had no idea what's in your mind. Ok. What can I do to help you? Our daughter will help you too. Don't you, dear?"<br />
<br />
My goodness! I thought to myself. I didn't know how tactful Dad can be with Mum. It must be a secret of long and lasting married couple with a stepchild. He is not my biological father but I wanted him to be at the moment. He was doing a terrific job to calm Mum down like a pro magician with his words. I was well-impressed with his skill and nodded so deeply with full approval with his suggestion.<br />
<br />
<br />
"Well, I suppose we can start from doing something with the mess around here, can't we?"<br />
<br />
Mum did not respond to that and sat down on a chair covered with flour.<br />
<br />
"Well, you must be exhausted, dear. Please take a rest. We'll make you some tea and take care of this mess." said Dad and put the kettle on the stove.<br />
<br />
<br />
I didn't dare to comment anything but gave the approved nod and joined his healing mission.<br />
<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
After all the mess was wiped and the fury was subsided, we all sat on the chairs at the kitchen table silently as we sipped the strong tea with plenty of milk together.<br />
<br />
Dad mumbled, "Oh dear." and then covered his face in shame, apologizing, "Sorry. I did it again. Oh, dear..."<br />
<br />
He looked up the ceiling in vain : I started giggling. Mum also started giggling. The hysterical giggle stayed for a while with us, sweeping the heavy air away.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-59844533325390154562013-12-14T18:09:00.000-08:002013-12-14T21:15:06.028-08:00Have a little more faith in yourself!"Have a little more faith in yourself!" is the word I was given repeatedly by one of my best mates / mentors.<br />
He probably has no memory of what he said because it always happened when he was extremely drunk. It was alway just before he lost his conscious due to the massive amount of alcohol, he looked into my eyes and said his line. He said that so many times that this line was engraved onto my mind and grows every single day even now. This memory comes back to me so vividly because of the party I had last night with bunch of lovely people.<br />
<br />
After finishing to revise my paper on self-esteem, I cooked some food for the little christmas party. It was also a debut gig for Momo (my daughter). She was so reluctant to go with me, telling me how tired she felt and how boring it could be. But somehow my heart told me not to get her away from this opportunity to meet and mingle with unique, creative and inspiring individuals. So, I gave her the smile that said, "I won't take no for an answer". By now, she knows the awful consequences if she objects to the smile. So, she came along, dragging the heavy guitar and the heart.<br />
<br />
She was in a devastating state of mind due to the terrible test score she got at school in spite of her tremendous effort. The worst news for her was that it was the English test. She got 58 in 60 in speaking test and full mark in listening but when it came to translation from Japanese to English, she got into one of the worst three in the 8th graders. She just couldn't memorize all the meaningless lines no matter how much she tried. It was heartbreaking time to see her struggle so much and lost all her self-esteem for such a tiny little matter like an English test at a Japanese school. But don't you remember the school life and test scores meant the whole world for you when you were 14? Perhaps it meant more in Japan for more students become more obedient to social rules in general. Momo is not an exception. She takes a measure, the school grades way too seriously and thinks she is a total loser. The school grades are one of the most influential measures for "success" but it is NOT a tool to measure your value as a human. I can't repeat this enough and I want her English teacher repeat this as well instead of killing all her enthusiasm towards learning and discovering unknown. The fatal line, the bullet in her heart from the teacher was, "You may not be able to go to the high school unless you try harder." This is a spit on your face. This is a kick in your already bruised butt. This is a bucket of cold water on your head on the freezing winter night. Such words humiliate you. Such words pierce your heart and numb it. Little by little, I can see her heart stop taking things in due to the pain, humiliation, disappointment, despair that come along with heartless words like that. It is not even truthful. It is just a harsh and mean words reflecting the teacher's irritation towards his lack of ability to inspire and motivate his students. I've heard so many lines like that back in school days and I know that none of them are true now. But how do you know when you are just 14 and the school life occupies 80% of your conscious life?<br />
<br />
I truly wished she had a friend like my best mate telling her repeatedly that how wonderful and special she is because who she is. I wish I could be her best friend but as you know for a teenager, a mum is a mum not a friend. She needed a person who has a faith in her. Someone who is not a member of her family and looks at her objectively and genuinely appreciates her presence in her/ his life. Someone like my best mate.<br />
<br />
At the party, a big help from my partner and the amazing audience, Momo managed to play some tunes and got applause, telling her how wonderful performer she was. Except a few people in the crowd, no one really knew what mental state Momo was in and what she really needed. For me, those encouraging sweet words from them were the best Christmas gift I can ever think of for Momo. The words from the cool grown-ups who enjoy their lives and successful in their own way. They had no idea the impact of their words on her. But those words she heard last night were like the line I carry every single day, " Have a little more faith in yourself." By the time we got home after joining the second party at a bar, the little twinkles came back to her eyes. This morning she said, " It was fun.."<br />
<br />
Her frozen heart has melted a little. Of course, it takes time to build more faith in herself. But at least, she experienced that there were the whole wider world with all jolly and lovely awesome grown-ups.<br />
And those people appreciate her presence and talent.<br />
<br />
Thanks to the jolly mates and their Christmas spirit. I truly wish you a very merry Christmas!!!<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-33227210362834553692013-11-19T02:22:00.001-08:002013-11-19T02:33:18.466-08:00 An inspiring message A few nights ago, Momo, my teenage daughter sat on a couch in the living room next to me and took a deep sigh as she mumbled, "I wish I had a teacher like him."<br />
<br />
Then she showed me the message of a school teacher who gave the last homework to his student before he passed away. The message said:<br />
<br />
The last homework<br />
No specific deadline.<br />
"Become happy."<br />
Perhaps I would be in heaven when you turn in this homework. Do not rush to hand it in.<br />
Take your time. But please tell me face to face, "I have become happy." I will be waiting to hear from you.<br />
<br />
What messages would you like to leave to your children or family? Ultimately, the message I would like to leave my children is the same. "Please find your happiness within your heart."<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-48018626751517987492013-11-08T17:20:00.002-08:002013-11-08T17:22:22.032-08:00Christmas Story for The Magical Story Tribe<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<!--StartFragment-->
<br />
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After reading the inspiring book, The Element in the bath on the Saturday morning, this story popped up out of my heart. I would love to make some collage based on this story later.</div>
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Sakura’s Christmas<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sakura lost her dad when she was only 3 years old. She was
born in Seattle in the United States of America. But her mom decided to come
back to Japan when Sakura’s dad passed away. Her mom said, <o:p></o:p></div>
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“Sakura, we will go back to my home country and be with our
family.” Sakura was not happy about saying good-bye to all of her friends and
wonderful neighbors. But she liked the idea of being with her family.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Sakura lived with her funny grandpa, loving grandma, two
playful uncles and mom. Sakura was a happy girl loved by everyone of her
family. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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As soon as she got into a nursery school nearby her
grandparents’ house, she made some good friends. The neighbors welcomed her and
her mom and everything was just fine. Sakura stopped crying missing her dad
little by little.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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One cold winter morning, Sakura’s grandma asked her, <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「さくちゃん、クリスマスには何をお願いするの</span>?<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">」</span><span lang="JA"> </span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「えっとね〜。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Sakura hesitated to tell grandma her wish.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「なにかな〜?」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「う〜ん。あのね。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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She looked at her grandma in the eyes and asked,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「サンタさんって本当にいるの?」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「もちろんよ。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「さくのお願いは叶えてかなえてくれるの?」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「さくちゃんは、いい子だもん。かなえてくれるわよ。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「なんでも。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「そうね。サンタさんにお手紙書いてみたら?」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Sakura smiled and nodded excitedly.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She wrote a letter to Santa and put it in a envelope. She
handed it to her mom and said,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「ママ、サンタさんに手紙だしておいて。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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At that time, Sakura has already forgotten her mother
tongue, English. Her mom was sad and wanted her to speak it again. Her mom
tried to talk with her in English but Sakura stopped speaking in English back. So,
her mom got an idea.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Did you write in English, Saku?”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Hah? <span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">何で?</span>”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“well, Santa can’t read Japanese, can’t he? He is from North
Pole.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Oh…<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">どうしよう。書けないよ</span>”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“ I can help you out.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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“OK!”<o:p></o:p></div>
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So, Sakura started practicing alphabet and got much better.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She asked her mum how to say some of phrases in English such
as I wish to see. But she did not tell her mom who she wants to see for
Christmas.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her mom thought it would be Stitch from Disney channel.
Sakura loved Stitch at that time. <o:p></o:p></div>
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After a few days of practice, Sakura managed to write a
letter to Santa.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She handed it to her mom and said, <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「ママ、じゃあ、サンタさんに出しておいてね。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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On the night, her mom opened the letter and it said,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Dear Santa,<o:p></o:p></div>
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Merry Christmas. Last year. Present. Thank you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I wish to see dad for Christmas.<o:p></o:p></div>
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I am good. <o:p></o:p></div>
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Thank you.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Love<o:p></o:p></div>
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Sakura<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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“Oh, my, my.”<o:p></o:p></div>
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Her mom sighed. She had no idea what to do with Sakura’s
wish.<o:p></o:p></div>
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She did not make Sakura sad on Christmas day. <o:p></o:p></div>
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She walked around her bedroom and thought about it. But she
did not get any good ideas. So, she asked her family what to do.<o:p></o:p></div>
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Grandpa shrugged his shoulders. Grandma shed in tears. It
was one of Sakura’s uncles, Hiro gave her mom a good idea,<o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「手紙を書けば?パパからって。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「そうだよね。いいね。そうしよう。クリスマスだもん。」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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So, her mom came up what to write. The other uncle, Yoshi volunteered
to write it down on a Christmas card. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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On the night before Christmas, Sakura’s mom sneaked into her
bedroom and put the card under her pillow. She also put a little bracelet in a
little box next to the pillow.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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Next morning, Sakura’s family was got up by a big cheerful
shout. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「ママ!おばあちゃん!おじいちゃん!見て!見て!パパからプレゼント。サンタさんが持って来てくれたの!」</span><o:p></o:p></div>
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Sakura showed the card and the present from her dad. She
wore the bracelet around her wrist.<o:p></o:p></div>
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“Thank you.” She mumbled. The card says:<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dear my girl, Sakura<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Thank you for your request for Santa to see me again on the
special day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
He promised me to deliver this letter to you on the
Christmas Day.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I was so happy to hear that you still remember me and think
of me.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I am so sorry not to tell you this before. I am always with
you, Sakura.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
When you need me, I am there next to you. You may not see me
but I am there. You may be able to feel me if you try. I am so glad and proud
that you have made some friends and helped your mom to go back to Japan. You
have learned Japanese so quickly. I wish I could understand what you say. But
for me, just watching you grow is a gift. I am sorry that I can’t hug you like
other dads. But please remember I am always with you.<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Love<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Dad<o:p></o:p></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
It was all written in English. But Sakura could read “dad”.
She did not ask her mom what it was written. It was a message from her dad to
her. She wanted to read it on her own. She used her mom’s old dictionary to
understand the message. It took her very long time to get the message. She
asked her mom what “always” and “be with you” mean. When her mom told her it
means, <span lang="JA" style="font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-ascii-font-family: Century; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-font-family: Century; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;">「いつも一緒だよ。」</span>,
she was so happy and felt as if her dad was there.<o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
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From the Christmas, Sakura always gets a card from her dad
with a little present. Sakura became a big girl but she never questioned if
Santa is real. For her, the Christmas card and a present from dad is Santa, the
love. Once a year, on a Christmas day, a special gift will be delivered to you.
That is if you believe in love. <o:p></o:p></div>
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<br /></div>
<!--EndFragment-->Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-43137152334427644572013-11-06T05:29:00.002-08:002013-11-06T05:32:41.268-08:00The ElementFlow or zone or the new term, the element is a place your skill meets your potential. That is a place where you can be the best of your ability. That is a place where you feel right and find content daily. I think I have found a place like that. It is in the story circle with children. That is a place where I can feel their heartbeat and breath. That is a place where my beat and their beat make a unique harmony that nobody ever heard of before. The beat of our hearts and souls weave a story together. That is where I would find the joy and the meaning of my presence in this planet. It is not in the dark meeting room where everyone feel suffocated. It is not a classroom where a kid gets bullied by everyone that includes other student's parents and even some of teachers. It is not a school where children are judged by very restricted measures like mid-term tests, last-term test, proficiency tests, and other mini quizzes that kids get almost daily. It is not a place where kids would be controlled to be a heartless robot to serve our society. It is not a park where kids are proctored by mums and caregivers who love them only if they are obedient. It is not a grey street where children's laughters are prohibited. I don't belong those places. I belong to a place where kids can laugh their head off if that is what they feel like. I belong to a place where I can be accepted as who I am as I accept kids who they are. We can fight badly from time to time yet next minute we can hug each other. I belong to a place where I am allowed to speak genuinely. I belong to a place where nobody has to put a fake and cynical smile on her face. That is a place in the story circle with children. The story circle where we share all forms of stories of our own as well as others. That is my element and I would do anything to keep my seat there. Yes, I would.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-63647040624242447302013-10-30T05:20:00.002-07:002013-10-30T06:11:42.181-07:00"Why do I have to study English, Mum?"It is one of the good questions my daughter asked me once. She is 14 years old, studying English at a private Jr. high school. She took the entrance exam and was accepted a year ago. When she entered the school, she was full of enthusiasm to learn English which she had been exposed as soon as she was born by her mum, myself. As soon as she became 5, we started going abroad and enjoyed our adventure in a different country. In Vaucouver Canada, Hawaii, Alaska, Australia and Guam we travelled on ourselves on a tour or visit my friends living there. She played with some of local kids and joined some of local summer programs for kids as well. She had no fear of speaking English in spite of her low English proficiency. Her speaking ability wasn't so bad as a Japanese kid who had never lived overseas. But her strongest skill in the second language learning is her low anxiety in communicating in English with locals. She developed an excellent non-verbal communication skill via exploring the foreign cities and being exposed to the local cultures.<br />
<br />
So, when she marched into English education at the school, I didn't imagine she would ask this question, "Why do I have to study English?". In fact, I was quite offended by this inquiry of hers because I felt that my identity as a bilingual was questioned as well. I didn't answer well at that time. But later she started hating English as a school subject due to the miserable test scores she kept on getting at school. Finally, last semester, she became the worst three students in English and she asked me this question again. This time, I tried to answer her question sincerely because she looked desperately in need to hear my answer.<br />
<br />
Here is what I said to her:<br />
<br />
I didn't want you to abandon possibilities to take a part in the growing global village where no country boundaries, no ignorant discrimination towards race, nationality, gender, social status, education background and other measures that people used to have due to the lack of accurate information. But I am also aware of the pitfall of the so-called global village where developed and economically dominating countries exploit developing countries via using their cheap labour and products. Losing unique and outstanding cultural identities including the staple diet, the language and regional rituals would be a great loss for the multi-national world with numerous cultural heritages for the future generations. But taking a part in the global village would be better than isolating ourselves in the rapidly changing multi-cultural society. Because I believe that we evolve by adjusting to the changes and learning something new under a new environment. If we stop evolving, the humanity won't survive. And whether you like it or not, English has become a global language and it is one of the most useful tool to have as a communication with as many people as possible under the current circumstance. The status as a dominant language that English has might change as the global economics changes. But for our generation, such a big change would less likely happen. So, considering the global current circumstance, it is my responsibility, as a mum, as a facilitator of learning for you, a guardian of your future to tell you the potentials of learning this dominant language, English. It is just a potential and it is you who open many doors by using the language as the key. Please remember that you have so many potential abilities to lead a life that you feel proud and love. It is possible to join the global circle to make things better for you and your children without learning English. But equipped with a good English proficiency get you in without so much hustle. Besides, the way English is studied at school is just one way. It is not at all the one and only way. In fact, there are so many ways that you may have difficulties to find the most suitable one for you. So, it is too early to stop exploring now and conclude that you don't need to learn English just because a way of studying the language is not suitable for you. Give English a chance to represent your own mind and soul. Once you acquire one more way to speak your own mind, it surely will enrich and empower your presence on this planet.<br />
<br />
This is the answer from me to my daughter but I can't tell anyone who ask this good question in any other way.<br />
<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-50995934663235518292013-10-11T14:57:00.004-07:002013-10-11T16:59:54.553-07:00Lessons for lifeMy daughter stopped going to the brass band. She needed a break from all the practice, pressures and unnecessary and unpleasant conflicts within the members. She became physically so sick that she had to skip school. To get her healthy teenage life back, she has decided to leave the club for a while. ( It can be for good.) After solving slightly serious problem, she has gained her health and became the cheerful girl again. Thanks to my partner for taking his time and offering what she needs when she asked him how to play the guitar. I suppose her soul craved for music and the guitar was there. It was miraculous that she actually went up to his room and showed him her interests towards playing the guitar. He did not miss the chance to show her he is also in her cheering team. From that moment, her lesson for life has started.<br />
<br />
It is not only about music or playing the guitar. It is about the legendary musicians such as Bob Dylan, Bob Marley, Tracy Chapman, R.E.M, and their legacy and souls. She has been immerged in their harmony of melody and lyrics. Their music got some power to move even the most apathetic girl towards real life at that time.<br />
<br />
This apathy that my daughter showed and declared towards real life bothered me so much. I blamed all the digital culture she is surrounded by. In fact, I was about to organize anti-social networking group to protest this soul threatening addictive culture. She is really into tweet and social networking with other teens she has never met. Her favorite ones are called utaite-san or the singers who upload their own singings to Niko-niko douga (Japanese version of youtube). Some may be talented but many of them are just enjoying to share their performances and comments from the viewers. My daughter is one of the viewers. I won't be bothered if she was the one who upload her performance for it might be a sign of creativity and her own expression. It has been the hardest job I've ever got to take iPhone from her and get her in bed to get some enough sleep to live! Otherwise, she would go online all night long talking to someone she never met. What do you call that if not insanity or addiction?<br />
<br />
But after she met those legendary musicians via my partner and his guitar lessons, the way she deal with social networking and online culture has changed. She started listening to great music and reading books as well. She must have realized the taste of good stories again. She also started going out with her classmates and other club members from her school who enjoy my daughter's presence and treat her as a fellow human. I detect a bit of sweet scent of the puppy love that would burn your soul and show so many colors of emotions. One of the best lessons you can ever get if only you know what it is.<br />
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Her trampet seems like sucking her soul out of her but the inspiring music and the warm helping hands my partner offer to her have brought her vigor back. My lesson from her this time is to give enough space for children to grow on their own way. Do not judge teens or any other people based on my old conventions. One more encouraging discovery is that teens love cool and inspiring stories of real people!!!<br />
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Lessons for life would go on!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-82685966833666255422013-09-13T17:50:00.003-07:002013-09-13T17:50:43.716-07:00Making storiesI finally recovered from the awful jet lag and my brain started functioning again. I was fully energized and refreshed during the summer vacation. Thanks to the jolly Northerners of UK!!! I had an absolutely fantastic time there. The great memories I got there make the nightmarish jet lag worth having. Revising my research paper added a little too much spice on my life but it is over. I am ready to rock again!<br />
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To begin with my new adventure, I've got two big story-making projects going on at the moment. One will be held at Obaasan no chibukuro, a bookstore in Kokubunji with 10 other story& music lovers. This event idea was inspired when I went to see my friend's storytelling event with her own storybook at the place. The place got something extraordinary and I wanted to have regular magical event with stories and music. Tonight is the first event of the project. What I have in mind is to share the pleasure of telling stories and music appreciation. My additional purpose for this project is to make stories with others, based on a lot of story-making activities that are written in a book,<i> Creating Stories with Children. </i>Today I will try out the relaxation activity as I read my favorite poem. Then I will introduce, Fortunately-unfortunately activity. I can't wait to meet the others tonight.<br />
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Another project is at my new work. I finally persuade one of the elementary school's head master to permit my project. It is a play, based on Momotaro, the Japanese folklore. I have written a script and showed it to him, telling his students would be able to perform the play with a little bit of preparation. I have already made some musks of some characters for the play such as the Monkey, the Demons and etc. He promised me to support this project 100% and ask other teachers for their cooperations. Teachers are too busy to look after other affairs and I know I might have to plan and prepare for the project all on my own. I get a little bit supports from the teachers if I beg. The main purpose of this play is to show the pleasure of making and sharing a story with others to kids via taking a part in the play. It doesn't have to be perfect but I will encourage them to be the best they can. Otherwise, it will be dull.<br />
For the theme music, I chose this tune:<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maHkfrPrG6o">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maHkfrPrG6o</a><br />
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Lyrics: Come on let's go! Come one let's go! Come on let's go to Onigashima! We're gonna get, we're gonna get, we're gonna get the treasure back!<br />
<a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=maHkfrPrG6o"><br /></a><br />
Through these projects, I truly hope to find more story & music lovers. If you are one of them, please join us via sending me a DM to my facebook page.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-11459511156283506872013-08-03T18:39:00.001-07:002013-08-03T18:39:15.954-07:00Summer Reading with Kids at Sunnyfield EnglishFrom tomorrow, the annual Summer Reading Course at Sunnyfield English will start. From 4 pm to 8 pm for 4 days in a row with varied aged and leveled kids, I am planning to read some stories. With high schoolers, I am planning to go virtual world trip, starting with this article on Day 1:<br />
<a href="http://www.gogobot.com/awards/top_summer_destinations">http://www.gogobot.com/awards/top_summer_destinations</a><br />
Then on Day 2, learn more about some destinations on the list with Wikitravel such as<br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1339119582">http://wikitravel.org/en/Barcelona</a><br />
<a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1339119582">http://wikitravel.org/en/Hawaii</a><br />
<a href="http://wikitravel.org/en/Helsinki">http://wikitravel.org/en/Helsinki</a><br />
The destination will be student's own choice.<br />
Then on Day 3, they will present the place they choose and share reasons why they choose the destination. Then we will decide which one is the most suitable destination for our own tour.<br />
On the last day, we will share places to go and things to do in the place we decided to go on tour in the previous lesson.<br />
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For the elementary school kids, we will read books with summer-related themes.<br />
Day 1: <a href="http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/EBooks/Kippers%20Diary/index.html#">http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/EBooks/Kippers%20Diary/index.html#</a><br />
We will write a week diary after reading this.<br />
Day 2:<a href="http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/EBooks/The%20Sing%20Song/index.html#">http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/EBooks/The%20Sing%20Song/index.html#</a><br />
And of course, we will sing a song: <a href="http://youtu.be/BqVkRSO2h_M">http://youtu.be/BqVkRSO2h_M</a> beacuse we will eat ice cream on the last day :-)<br />
Day 3:<a href="http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/EBooks/Submarine%20Adventure/index.html#">http://www.oxfordowl.co.uk/EBooks/Submarine%20Adventure/index.html#</a><br />
We will draw things we can see under the sea.<br />
Day 4: <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1tzreJ-v2A">http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g1tzreJ-v2A</a><br />
Finally: one of my favorite story, Swimmy. We will talk about this story and eat ice cream later on!<br />
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This is my plan and as you may know "Plan" is a subject to change :-)<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-21365328049641315662013-07-19T16:19:00.002-07:002013-07-19T16:21:07.282-07:00Reflecting the first semesterLast Wednesday was the last teaching day in the first semester at elementary schools as ALT. In the last classes at 4 schools, I introduced a game that is similar to the horse racing board game.<br />
<div>
<ol>
<li> Divide the class into 6 or 7 teams of 4 or 5 students, depending on the number of the students.</li>
<li>Put 20 to 30 quiz cards with questions that you wish to review on the blackboard for students to choose from. </li>
<li>The first players from each team decide their team name from 6 to 7 animals ( it can be anything like fruits ) via Janken. </li>
<li>The second player come up to the front and pick a card or a lot. (I made a lot of french fries shaped lots and put them in a gigantic red container and wrote MEGA potato on the box.)</li>
<li>They go back to their seats and answer the question according to the number they draw. (the members of the team can help the player to answer the question if necessary.)</li>
<li>The team can go forward when the player can answer the question. In case the player draw a lucky lot with a heart on it, the team get to go forward one more.</li>
<li>When the team got to the goal, they are assigned to say,"Goal!" in chorus.</li>
</ol>
It was great to see kids help each other as a team and enjoy the review game. They like the idea of MEGA potato as well. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I was told by one of the school masters that I don't have to teach anything but have fun with kids as I use English. Well, it is not that simple and easy when I need to have all the kids understand the rules of games in English. But by the second week of teaching, I figured that some of students can make brilliant assistant teachers for me and ask them to help me to explain the rules to kids who look completely lost. I also found out which students can make brilliant leaders and make classes more enjoyable and informative. Those key students are much better facilitators than any teachers. </div>
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Thanks to those amazing facilitators / leaders, my classes got more fun co-contrractive learning space. </div>
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I had a bit bumpy beginning because of the extreme lack of support and information about how to conduct classes with what materials. In fact, nobody can tell me when, what, how I should teach at the beginning. All I know was I was supposed to teach 5th and 6th graders and student books I am supposed to use. Later on, while I was searching some information on line about the assigned textbooks, I found accidentally the syllabus and lesson plan for each unit at the MEXT site. While I was reorganizing the bookshelf to find available materials for the classes, I found DVD for the textbooks. This mess turned out to be kind of like a daily treasure hunting game for me and by the third week I started enjoying digging and discovering unexpected materials. By the 4th week, I started making my own materials using their PC and password I also found at the back of the PC desk on my own. The user name and the passwords were written on the post-it and stuck on the back of the desk of the shared computer. </div>
<div>
<br /></div>
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Now I got most of mysteries figured out and the most challenging task is to get to know the teachers I work with. They have very very little time to communicate so that I have to find the best time to start talking to them. I sometimes feel like I have become CIA agent, trying to figure all the unknown codes at work. It would have been easier and better if I had more support from the board of education and schools. But easier doesn't mean more fun. I think I am getting much better and unexpectedly fun stories to tell :-) </div>
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To be continued</div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-69302266168487046372013-06-23T01:34:00.004-07:002013-06-23T01:34:58.602-07:00Supermoon night<br />
Supermoon to rise tonight.<br />
<a href="http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2013/06/23/world/supermoon-to-rise-on-sunday-night/#.Ucar_JiilhM">http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2013/06/23/world/supermoon-to-rise-on-sunday-night/#.Ucar_JiilhM</a><br />
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The moon reminds me of many stories. One of them is a scene from this movie, Evening. An exhausted mum with a serious emotional problem sang the moon song for her kids when everything looked so intimidatingly wrong. She quitted cooking and put her daughter on her laps and went:<br />
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I see the moon and the moon sees me<br />
And the moon sees somebody I wanna see...<br />
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Being a mum gets overwhelmed from time to time because of all the emotional roller coaster she deal with on daily bases. On such an evening, stop everything and just looking up at the moon with her little girls or boys and singing away would bring a big smile back on her face. How many times would you look up at the night sky and gaze at the moon? How often would you talk about the moon and the memories that are inspired?<br />
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Tonight might be one of the suitable one for storytelling night with a supermoon.<br />
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Have a lovely evening, everyone!<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-48813470601488218302013-06-11T17:17:00.002-07:002013-06-11T17:18:48.542-07:00On my day offYesterday was one of those days that I don't enjoy looking back because of the despair I felt at work. I hear some abusive words from kids. Where do those painful and abusive words come from? Don't they come from the mouth of us, grown-ups. It is the chain of harmful words. I hear teachers say, "Why don't you understand such an easy instruction?" "Are you an idiot?" "Shut up!" without any reasons explained to the kids. I completely understand classroom management in a large class is challenging and stressful especially when you need to deal with that all day long. And those 6th graders can be a pain in neck. But abusive words can't stop anything. In fact, they feed only negative and painful vocabulary to the dictionary of our kids. It is true that the world can be brutal and harsh and kids might need to deal with that but I keep thinking what if kids didn't know those harsh and abusive expressions but knew more and more encouraging, supportive and soft words like music to our ears. Words and moods are much more contagious or influential to us than we imagine. For instance, when I feel relaxed and fine, my words become more inviting and cheerful. when my words become more cheerful, Momo, my daughter acts better and nicer. When she is cheerful, more laughters happen among us. And the other way around is the same. I am not saying that we should ignore something unpleasant or abusive incidents in our lives because there are always some. But by focusing on such events, you become bitter and gloomy and your words usually coincide your mood. Then the painful chain of abusive words take place.<br />
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In order to have kids listen to you, perhaps giving them a little time to calm down especially after exciting activities is a better idea than throwing bitter and abusive words at them like, "Shut up! Otherwise, you are out!" " Shut up! Get out of here! You don't know when to stop!" I had enough of those heartbreaking words at work. It really break my heart because those words kill all the pleasures kids had during the activities that they felt excited. It is like feeding kids cake and telling them how bad the eating cake is. It is such a wrong message. One of the teachers say, "Ok, we had fun, Now let's listen to another one. Ok?" He has much better classroom management. It makes sense to kids. And I don't have to stand like an idiot while my team-teacher is screaming at those poor kids. I heard one of the teachers shouted at a girl, "We don't need a person like you! Get out of here!" It was harsher than what the girl mumbled. I felt so awful because she said something childish ( but she is a child and that's what she is supposed to say.) like, "You had a hard luck."to one f her classmate in a pair work. Maybe the teacher meant to shout at me for doing something inappropriate. But in any cases, shouting at the girl in front of the class and killing all the joy all the students were sharing at the moment was inappropriate to me. Whatever the problems she has in her daily behavior, I can't imagine such abusive words can grow anything healthy. I think inspiring and nurturing words can only touch our soft part of the hearts and grow more of empowering words there. What this girl need to empathize how her classmate would feel if she calls him a had luck. Empathy is something kids need to learn in the course of their development. And it is our responsibility to make sure that they learn empathy.<br />
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Some days, it is so challenging to be careful with my words. I get tired and stressed out and my words become unkind. For those days, I should remember the face of every kid when the harsh words were poured onto her / him - the most confused, embarrassed and despising faces. After all, I can't change anything nor anyone but myself. I would love to have a circle of musical and inspiring words around me :-)Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-65248578240958922142013-06-07T18:03:00.005-07:002013-06-07T18:03:55.972-07:00Story-based class at elementary schoolAfter reading a story, <i>Ketchup on your Corn flakes? </i>in some of my classes at an elementary school, I started wondering how I can integrate lots of activities that stimulate interactions among students and shared reading activities. Based on my experiences and some literature, I have become a believer of impact of narratives and the power of shared reading. But I also hypothesize that only shared reading might not be able to attract students' full attention. I saw some sleepy faces and yawning if the book lasts more than 5 pages. That's how short their attention span is. Kids got more stimulating activities such as online games, movies and so on. Simple activities such as reading don't give them instant stimulation in spite of all the imaginative and creative stimulation you can get once you are completely engaged in the world of narratives. Reading requires bit of patience and practice in order to feel the absolute freedom to play in the world. Once you get the grip of how you can free your mind on the pages, you can be addicted to it for sure, however, like everything else, you gotta experience the magic on your own. Those kids, who had no enjoyable shared reading experiences with their parents or care takers, have no patience nor stamina to wait for the magic take place in their hearts. And only in the area, I might be able to give my hands to kids. Via introducing some books they can be engaged and having fun time in sharing the story, I might be able to create the similar bed time experiences that I and my daughter got as babies - The smoothing feelings and the excitement come along with the stories told by the caregiver, the guardian of your tiny life. It might be the warmth and the tender tone of her / his voice babies cling to first. Then, they can built the love of reading later. How powerful force it can be to make your kids bookworms or addicts for narratives in a positive sense. With this foundation based on love and trust, kids can freely fly in any worlds they may live.<br />
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I must thank my daughter for this realization and also being a light to guide me where to go in the midst of a tempest. I also thank my mum to give me a good nose of story hunters. Shared reading with my mum got me fall in love with picture stories and children's literature has been one of my favorites. I also had nothing but books to entertain myself when I was indoors during my childhood. Outdoors, I got the wild and thrilling nature beckoning me back then. I really appreciate her to provide such a wonderful environment.<br />
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It is impossible to create such a rich environment in classrooms but I would be extremely happy if I can share at least a bit of pleasure of shared reading with some kids. In my dictionary there is no word like "too late" especially when it comes to reading. You can fall in love with narratives anytime in your life according to <i>Storytelling Animals</i> since craving for stories is one of our very primitive instincts. Nothing can take that from us. (Well, unless some extreme cases with physical or psychological damages.) This human tendency explains a lot for addictions for games. Games are animated stories that you can join and experience instantly. But they lack the magic, the freedom of mind. Readers can animate each character of a book as they like. I can't get such a freedom in movies and games due to the fixed images and sounds. Only in texts, you can get the absolute freedom. In the sense, storytelling or shared readings are also limited but such activities can be a great bridge between the ready-made animated images and self-genarated images. When stories in your mind get colors, sounds and motions, you can be absorbed in the world endlessly and the pleasure is priceless. But it is hard to explain because you gotta experience that.<br />
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So, I think I can define my mission is to be a bridge between ready-made imagination and self-generated imagination. Hope I can be a solid one that doesn't fall down via sharing engaging stories with kids as we play lots of pre- and post-reading activities.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-33103105817090701762013-05-30T00:09:00.000-07:002013-05-30T00:09:48.197-07:00It's been a while...I've been dealing with the way too many new things at work on top of preparing two presentations without having chilling & reflecting time on my own. For the first time in a while, I had a peaceful afternoon nap on my favorite sofa. I realize how tired my body and soul has been. I guess that's what happens when you suddenly start dealing with more than 100 different types of humans at work. Before this new work, I talked with only my family and some of kids at my own school. The average number of people I meet was about 5 to 6 a day. They are all familiar faces and I know what to expect. But from a few weeks ago, as my new work begun, suddenly I deal with 40 to 50 people a day and I don't know many of them. For the first time in my life, I realized why I couldn't handle school life so well back in school days. It is just too much information to take in. At workshops and presentations, I meet new faces and share the time but I often feel like those occasions are for meeting kindred spirits and making new friends. After all, those participants who bother to join my workshop or presentations share the interests or at least have a bit of interest in what I say. So, it has been inspirational and empowering for me to do presentations. However, this job as an ALT is a whole different story. Many of participants (students) got little interests in what I say. In fact some of them including teachers show no interests in me, an ALT. For them, I am just an intruder of their fun school life. One day, she marched in from nowhere and started telling something they didn't care. To make the matter worse, she asks them what she can do for them. What a nightmare for them! I feel sorry for their confusion but I hope they will eventually understand my intention is not bad at all. In fact, I genuinely would like to get to know them because we are there, sharing the time and space at the same time for some kind of funny and amazing coincidence. It might mean nothing if we ignore the fact that the chance to be in the same classroom at a certain time is very low almost like the level of miracle. I just can't help getting a bit too excited about that. It might be a good reason or some kind of universal mystery going right now. If so, I don't want to miss a thing. Having this crazy idea in my mind, I've been 100% open to whatever I feel at work. With all my senses I take everything going on around me and it's been exhausting. I feel so alive and appreciate the opportunities offered to me but still I haven't got used to such an intense circumstance.<br />
On top of that, at Sunnyfield English, I have nearly 10 new students joined to our learning community last month. I'm so ecstatic but at the same time I feel a bit overwhelmed because of the flood of information I would like to take in. Unfortunately, the capacity of my heart is limitless but that of my head is quite limited. Considering the chaos in my mind, however, things have been rather smooth. In fact it has been unexpectedly good. I appreciate everyone's generosity and patience.<br />
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From next month, I will have a full schedule, 5 days a week at elementary schools, 3 days a week at Sunnyfield English in the evening plus my own study and life. I know there are bunch of people who got much busier schedule but please imagine I am a total beginner for juggling. I can toss and catch only a ball at a time. But now I got 5 balls in my hands to juggle. I am a big believer of "Practice makes perfect" and would keep on trying to juggle well. But in a mean time, I need a group of cheer leaders.<br />
Would you be one of them?Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8614727460746604802.post-43412822122081170522013-05-04T17:02:00.000-07:002013-05-04T17:02:04.533-07:00New journey!How many times have I said "Really?" ever since the year of 2013 started? There were various kind of "Really?" depending on the circumstances but most of my "Really?" so far this year have been the one used for expressing joyful surprises. The first "Really?" happened when I was invited to the speakers workshop for TEDx Tokyo teachers. The second one came when I was invited by ETJ Saitama as a presenter. The third one was when my partner found my first textbooks became available online. Those "Really?" expressed my astonishment at surreal moments.<br />
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Having lived in a peaceful yet humble place with my daughter and enjoying the slices of English world with cute little kids in our neighborhood for more than a decade, I got used to my little Cheekish la la land where we got nothing but our imagination to play with. I had such a blast time sharing all the fantastic picture books and stories kids told me about their daily findings. In such a little la la land, there is no such a thing like fear. To get up-to-date information about outside of our world, all I need was to have a chat over cuppa with wise friends from time to time. Nothing radical happened. It could be boring but surely peaceful days. I wished this make-believe style of living with kids would last forever as long as I live. My only fear was that one day my daughter would say. "Mum, don't you wanna know what is going on outside? I wanna find things out!" The day didn't come within one day but little by little she stayed outside of our land longer and longer and finally she left me in the little land on my own. Those neighborhood kids also grew out of the land and left for the much bigger world. Looking at the empty seats, I moaned and moaned as if it was the end of the world for a while.<br />
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One night, I sat alone in the little classroom looking at those pictures of my kids on the wall. Every one of them looked happy and smily. As I started reading those picture books we shared, I got on the mental time-machine and went back to the days of laughters. All the kids were still small with chubby faces and the sticky hands, asking me what to play for the day. So, I said, "Mr. Wolf?" Kids went "YAY!" After playing in our garden for a while, we got back in our library and shared our favorite story, <i>Goodnight, Moon</i>. I said "Goodnight" then kids said "Good-bye" instead with big smiles on their little cute faces.<br />
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Good-bye.<br />
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Their voice echoed repeatedly in my mind and I looked at them and finally said "good-bye." Good-bye to our la la land and my early motherhood. It was time my own life started again. The early motherhood was filled with full of little surprises, findings and laughters. It was absolutely fantastic but I didn't want to stay there alone. All the kids left there to explore more complex and perhaps beautiful world. So, why don't I? After all, we learned together how to be courageous in the face of challenges and fear and stay curious via playing and sharing so many stories in the la la land, the place where the reality and the innocent fancy meets. After the time-travel, I promised to myself to be out of sentimental self-pity and enjoy the life fully.<br />
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"Really?" The latest one was happened at the end of last month after I had a job interview at Kunitachi city hall for an ALT position. It was the first time for me to do 5-min demo lesson without any preparation at all. More than a decade of make-believe life with kids has intensified my crazy imagination or something, somehow I was oddly excited to get all the serious looking men open up and talk to me in the foreign language. Surprisingly the magic I learned in the land worked! Learning how to say "good-bye" opens the door to a new journey. I would visit 4 different elementary schools in Kunitachi city. What kind of stories those kid will share with me? What stories I can introduce to them? What kind of magic would I learn?<br />
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There are so many things and people I appreciate but today I thank to those kids including Momo, my daughter, who shared multi-cultured and colored stories with me in the last decade. They got me ready for the new journey to find more stories.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0