Phew!

I got my gum swollen again. This is what happens when I overworked without breathing for a while. Even though I am suffering from the intense pain(Going to a dentist is a waste of time for this.) I am happy that I've written the first academic writing. 4250 words with quite long appendix. The total number should be around 5000 words. Of course, quantity doesn't count as much as the quality but  the time I have spent and effort I have made are worth praising :-) Sometimes, you need that in order to go forward instead of beating yourself up for being a pathetic writer.

Despite the low quality of my writing, I have got one of the best supporting team for the paper. The team includes an experienced editor, proofreaders, researchers and a teacher-trainer for teachers for young learners. I know how lucky I am and I truly appreciated their support. Without this team, I won't be able to submit the paper on time. Although I am not so certain that my paper will pass the standard of the Master's program, I've learned a lot. Here are some notes for the next one:

1. "no one is born good at academic writing. " 

1. One focus for a research paper

1. Plan more in advance: who (participants), what(focus) and how (methodology).

1. Describe in detail.

1. Read relevant research papers more. 

1. Find a team of friends who would give you constructive feedback.

1. Find a good balance between working and chilling.

In the mean time, I sing "Pain, Pain, Go away!" fingers crossed :-)

My first step into academic writing was bumpier and much more nerve-wrecking than I have imagined.  Now I have realized what the helluva world I have stepped into. After taking this gigantic mountain climbing (if I am allowed to continue), I would surely be armed with much thicker skin and some more essential skills for a M.A. Mama. 

Who is the best role model for my language learning?

I've spend a day at Joint JALT Tokyo conference and had a chance to think who my role model was when I started learning English. The theme of the conference was, "There is no best method." but the discussion during the first plenary speaker, Dr. Andy Curtis, ended up in "Who can be the best role model for the language learners?" while he got us walk through the history of English language education and its methodology. It was quite interesting shift from talking about the best Methodology to the best roll model. To me, it was engaging topic for I constantly wonder if I am good enough as a language instructor. I keep on asking myself, "How can you be the best roll model for your students when your English can not be "Perfect"?" I Would try to make it as good enough as possible as a communication tool, however, I can never see myself to build the same sense of ease and confidence when I produce sentences in English as I do in my 1st language. My heart resonate with the phrases such as Daring greatly and the gift of imperfection because of the fact that I can't see myself achieving the native-like proficiency in English. And if the best roll model means someone who show the perfect model, I am a failure.

However, when I look back to my learning experiences, I remember some persons who were adorably imperfect and beautifully messy in a very wholehearted way. They motivated me to be able to communicate with them in order to get to know them more. Even for the different areas such as parenting, my roll models are not perfect human-beings yet they dealt with me as real and sincere as possible and accept me as who I am.  So, for me "the best" means not "the perfect". The best means more like sincere or real.

So, just in time before Christmas I found one more wish to add to my wishing list. That is to be courageous enough to show up in the classroom as sincere and real as possible in spite of all the anxieties and fears I might feel.

I am thankful for the opportunity to attend such a thought-provoking conference.

Is no praise a good praise?

I have been reading some literature and thinking about praising yesterday. As a teacher for young learners, I realize I tend to praise them unnecessarily and frequently without considering so much about the pitfall of praising.

Some researches show that children can detect insincerity in teacher or parent's praise and that leads to hopelessness in them. In other words, insincere praise damages children's self-efficacy. These findings scared hell out of me because that is not what I intend to do at all. But it is true some of grown-ups tend to use a praise as a motivator without fully aware of the danger. Such a false praise may also damage the relationship you have build with the kid. On top of that, it can make your kid addictive to easy-rewards. Once your kids become a praise junky, he/she won't do anything without it and this tendency might take away autonomy in learning and discovering his/ her own live. False praises also create helplessness in children at the face of setback. Those children who have been getting too much meaningless praises tend to give up challenges easily. One of the research paper says, at the face of setback, neutral and nonjudgemental feedback is the best to give. 

What I have discovered so far is that no praise on their efforts is not an answer to avoid making your child or student a praise junky but being aware of the pitfall of praising and use it appropriately and wisely might be able to facilitate more motivating environment for children's personal development. We as parents or educators ultimately want our kids/ students to be independent life-time learners with full of curiosity, don't we? At least, facilitating assuring environment for children to develop steadfast self-efficacy and perseverance in order to flourish in their own ways is my way to feel flourished as a person. 

Don't get me wrong I am not one of those selfless saints on earth. I just want to see my kids flourishing with their own strength in their own unique ways for very very self-centered and selfish reason. I feel happiest when I see the proud smiles of children and hear the genuine laughters of them because that is the only time when I see something glorious in spite of all absurdity in humanity including myself. 

Does it make me a junky of their smiles? Then, so be it! 

Notes from Wednesday Morning class

Oh, that was fun with about 20 kids, totally, absolutely, amazingly motivated dream students.

I go there only three times a month for an hour session. For those 3 to 5 year old kids, I may be nothing but a silly grown-up who comes from time to time to play with them. What I suspect is that those kids long for TLC more than other kids with attention from their mum all day long. Their mums are all working mums and they spend most of their early childhood days at the nursery school. Some of them have quality time with their mums I am sure. But I also know how tired those working mums would be at home after work and perhaps they would fall asleep while they read books for the little ones. Their mums can get really cranky from time to time without no rational reasons. Their mums could be hysterical and very unpleasant to be around. Been there, done that! I remember I tried to stay awake for my daughter and read more storybooks with her but couldn't help falling asleep. Guess what she did. She let me sleep when I really needed a good sleep. She learned how to shut herself up when I was in a cranky mood. She learned how to tuck herself in the bed and make herself sleep at very young age. I assume those kids have those nights and they definitely deserve absolute fun time with a bit of crazy mum like myself.

When I was asked to teach English at the school, the principal said to me to play with them, using English. She also said she didn't expect them to speak English fluently with only an hour and three time a month exposure to English. What she expected me to do is to show and share the joy of leaning the new language. She also let me decide what and how we learn English together. What a dream job! I really truly appreciate and enjoy time with kids.

Yesterday I was thinking how I feel so motivated there.
1 I got motivated students.
2 I got welcoming and supportive teachers.
3 I got freedom to do the best I can.
4 I got a spacious, clean and equipped classroom.
5 I got some events to look forward.

When I started working/ playing there, I had a bit of confusing message from a teacher with her unfriendly tone of voice and body language. I assumed she was not so excited about the change but now I realized she had no idea what to do. She has been so supportive to provide the safest and best environment for learning.

In the last class, I introduced a new song from Happy Vally CD using gestures and facial expressions to convey the meanings of emotions in the song such as happy and grumpy. They love to express grumpiness with the danceable tune. I didn't need the doughnut perspective because the class itself is a whole cake! But the question is if I was careful enough when I give them praise. Obviously I wasn't because I don't quite recall what I said much. I remember the smily and cute faces and little hands in the air to get my attention. "Marvelous!""Fantastic!"might have been what I said to them. ah...much more descriptive praise should be given but those are absolutely sincere comments.

According to one of the research papers I read yesterday, a praise might stimulate intrisic motivation of children if it is perceived as sincere message by the recipient who has established self-efficacy with specific and doable standards and expectation. On top of that, a trusting relationship between the praiser and the recipient is essential. And of course, there might be more variables such as age, gender, culture and personality to consider. But the good news is that younger kids may not be so sensitive to words so much and perceive a praise as a motivator.

I truly hope I won't say anything or do to demotivate those beautiful kids. That is the only fear I have in the class. Gotta learn more!!!!

Note: ER and spelling?

After participating in the meeting at TKC, I can't get rid of the comment, repeating over and over in my head. "Japanese kids don't need to learn English in English. " According to the "experienced" senior teacher, Japanese children need to do grammar-translation because that's the skill they are expected to achieve at school and  their ultimate goal is to get better grades on tests.

Whether I agre with it or not, somewhat it is true. As far as most of, if not all, my students are concerned, they are going to stay and make living in Japan. And their interest is how to make better living in this country. Considering the goal most of the children have (or have trained to believe), further research on "effectiveness" of ER is needed.

Since Spelling is one of the main area for the grades at Japanese schools, investigating on the connection between reading and spelling might be useful. The positive feeling I have towards extensive reading as a way of substantial and comprehensible input inspires a hypothesis that ER can improve spelling.

Krashen and Day have already claimed that there is a "casual relationship" between ER and spelling.

I wonder if it can make an interesting Action Research.

Gotta read some more!