Christmas Story for The Magical Story Tribe

After reading the inspiring book, The Element in the bath on the Saturday morning, this story popped up out of my heart. I would love to make some collage based on this story later.

Sakura’s Christmas

Sakura lost her dad when she was only 3 years old. She was born in Seattle in the United States of America. But her mom decided to come back to Japan when Sakura’s dad passed away. Her mom said,

“Sakura, we will go back to my home country and be with our family.” Sakura was not happy about saying good-bye to all of her friends and wonderful neighbors. But she liked the idea of being with her family.

Sakura lived with her funny grandpa, loving grandma, two playful uncles and mom. Sakura was a happy girl loved by everyone of her family.

As soon as she got into a nursery school nearby her grandparents’ house, she made some good friends. The neighbors welcomed her and her mom and everything was just fine. Sakura stopped crying missing her dad little by little.

One cold winter morning, Sakura’s grandma asked her,

「さくちゃん、クリスマスには何をお願いするの?」

「えっとね〜。」

Sakura hesitated to tell grandma her wish.

「なにかな〜？」

「う〜ん。あのね。」

She looked at her grandma in the eyes and asked,

「サンタさんって本当にいるの？」

「もちろんよ。」

「さくのお願いは叶えてかなえてくれるの？」

「さくちゃんは、いい子だもん。かなえてくれるわよ。」

「なんでも。」

「そうね。サンタさんにお手紙書いてみたら？」

Sakura smiled and nodded excitedly.

She wrote a letter to Santa and put it in a envelope. She handed it to her mom and said,

「ママ、サンタさんに手紙だしておいて。」

At that time, Sakura has already forgotten her mother tongue, English. Her mom was sad and wanted her to speak it again. Her mom tried to talk with her in English but Sakura stopped speaking in English back. So, her mom got an idea.

“Did you write in English, Saku?”

“Hah? 何で？”

“well, Santa can’t read Japanese, can’t he? He is from North Pole.”

“Oh…どうしよう。書けないよ”

“ I can help you out.”

“OK!”

So, Sakura started practicing alphabet and got much better.

She asked her mum how to say some of phrases in English such as I wish to see. But she did not tell her mom who she wants to see for Christmas.

Her mom thought it would be Stitch from Disney channel. Sakura loved Stitch at that time.

After a few days of practice, Sakura managed to write a letter to Santa.

She handed it to her mom and said,

「ママ、じゃあ、サンタさんに出しておいてね。」

On the night, her mom opened the letter and it said,

Dear Santa,

Merry Christmas. Last year. Present. Thank you.

I wish to see dad for Christmas.

I am good.

Thank you.

Love

Sakura

“Oh, my, my.”

Her mom sighed. She had no idea what to do with Sakura’s wish.

She did not make Sakura sad on Christmas day.

She walked around her bedroom and thought about it. But she did not get any good ideas. So, she asked her family what to do.

Grandpa shrugged his shoulders. Grandma shed in tears. It was one of Sakura’s uncles, Hiro gave her mom a good idea,

「手紙を書けば？パパからって。」

「そうだよね。いいね。そうしよう。クリスマスだもん。」

So, her mom came up what to write. The other uncle, Yoshi volunteered to write it down on a Christmas card.

On the night before Christmas, Sakura’s mom sneaked into her bedroom and put the card under her pillow. She also put a little bracelet in a little box next to the pillow.

Next morning, Sakura’s family was got up by a big cheerful shout.

「ママ！おばあちゃん！おじいちゃん！見て！見て！パパからプレゼント。サンタさんが持って来てくれたの！」

Sakura showed the card and the present from her dad. She wore the bracelet around her wrist.

“Thank you.” She mumbled. The card says:

Dear my girl, Sakura

Thank you for your request for Santa to see me again on the special day.

He promised me to deliver this letter to you on the Christmas Day.

I was so happy to hear that you still remember me and think of me.

I am so sorry not to tell you this before. I am always with you, Sakura.

When you need me, I am there next to you. You may not see me but I am there. You may be able to feel me if you try. I am so glad and proud that you have made some friends and helped your mom to go back to Japan. You have learned Japanese so quickly. I wish I could understand what you say. But for me, just watching you grow is a gift. I am sorry that I can’t hug you like other dads. But please remember I am always with you.

Love

Dad

It was all written in English. But Sakura could read “dad”. She did not ask her mom what it was written. It was a message from her dad to her. She wanted to read it on her own. She used her mom’s old dictionary to understand the message. It took her very long time to get the message. She asked her mom what “always” and “be with you” mean. When her mom told her it means, 「いつも一緒だよ。」, she was so happy and felt as if her dad was there.

From the Christmas, Sakura always gets a card from her dad with a little present. Sakura became a big girl but she never questioned if Santa is real. For her, the Christmas card and a present from dad is Santa, the love. Once a year, on a Christmas day, a special gift will be delivered to you. That is if you believe in love.

Reflecting the first semester

Last Wednesday was the last teaching day in the first semester at elementary schools as ALT. In the last classes at 4 schools, I introduced a game that is similar to the horse racing board game.

1.  Divide the class into 6 or 7 teams of 4 or 5 students, depending on the number of the students.
2. Put 20 to 30 quiz cards with questions that you wish to review on the blackboard for students to choose from. 
3. The first players from each team decide their team name from 6 to 7 animals ( it can be anything like fruits ) via Janken. 
4. The second player come up to the front and pick a card or a lot. (I made a lot of french fries shaped lots and put them in a gigantic red container and wrote MEGA potato on the box.)
5. They go back to their seats and answer the question according to the number they draw. (the members of the team can help the player to answer the question if necessary.)
6. The team can go forward when the player can answer the question. In case the player draw a lucky lot with a heart on it, the team get to go forward one more.
7. When the team got to the goal, they are assigned to say,"Goal!" in chorus.

It was great to see kids help each other as a team and enjoy the review game. They like the idea of MEGA potato as well. 

I was told by one of the school masters that I don't have to teach anything but have fun with kids as I use English. Well, it is not that simple and easy when I need to have all the kids understand the rules of games in English. But by the second week of teaching, I figured that some of students can make brilliant assistant teachers for me and ask them to help me to explain the rules to kids who look completely lost. I also found out which students can make brilliant leaders and make classes more enjoyable and informative. Those key students are much better facilitators than any teachers. 

Thanks to those amazing facilitators / leaders, my classes got more fun co-contrractive learning space. 

I had a bit bumpy beginning because of the extreme lack of support and information about how to conduct classes with what materials. In fact, nobody can tell me when, what, how I should teach at the beginning. All I know was I was supposed to teach 5th and 6th graders and student books I am supposed to use. Later on, while I was searching some information on line about the assigned textbooks, I found accidentally the syllabus and lesson plan for each unit at the MEXT site. While I was  reorganizing the bookshelf to find available materials for the classes, I found DVD for the textbooks. This mess turned out to be kind of like a daily treasure hunting game for me and by the third week I started enjoying digging and discovering unexpected materials. By the 4th week, I started making my own materials using their PC and password I also found at the back of the PC desk on my own. The user name and the passwords were written on the post-it and stuck on the back of the desk of the shared computer. 

Now I got most of mysteries figured out and the most challenging task is to get to know the teachers I work with. They have very very little time to communicate so that I have to find the best time to start talking to them. I sometimes feel like I have become CIA agent, trying to figure all the unknown codes at work. It would have been easier and better if I had more support from the board of education and schools. But easier doesn't mean more fun. I think I am getting much better and unexpectedly fun stories to tell :-) 

To be continued

Supermoon night

Supermoon to rise tonight.
http://www.japantimes.co.jp/news/2013/06/23/world/supermoon-to-rise-on-sunday-night/#.Ucar_JiilhM

The moon reminds me of many stories. One of them is a scene from this movie, Evening. An exhausted mum with a serious emotional problem sang the moon song for her kids when everything looked so intimidatingly wrong. She quitted cooking and put her daughter on her laps and went:

I see the moon and the moon sees me
And the moon sees somebody I wanna see...

Being a mum gets overwhelmed from time to time because of all the emotional roller coaster she deal with on daily bases. On such an evening, stop everything and just looking up at the moon with her little girls or boys and singing away would bring a big smile back on her face. How many times would you look up at the night sky and gaze at the moon? How often would you talk about the moon and the memories that are inspired?

Tonight might be one of the suitable one for storytelling night with a supermoon.

Have a lovely evening, everyone!

On my day off

Yesterday was one of those days that I don't enjoy looking back because of the despair I felt at work. I hear some abusive words from kids. Where do those painful and abusive words come from? Don't they come from the mouth of us, grown-ups. It is the chain of harmful words. I hear teachers say, "Why don't you understand such an easy instruction?" "Are you an idiot?" "Shut up!" without any reasons explained to the kids. I completely understand classroom management in a large class is challenging and stressful especially when you need to deal with that all day long. And those 6th graders can be a pain in neck. But abusive words can't stop anything. In fact, they feed only negative and painful vocabulary to the dictionary of our kids. It is true that the world can be brutal and harsh and kids might need to deal with that but I keep thinking what if kids didn't know those harsh and abusive expressions but knew more and more encouraging, supportive and soft words like music to our ears. Words and moods are much more contagious or influential to us than we imagine. For instance, when I feel relaxed and fine, my words become more inviting and cheerful. when my words become more cheerful, Momo, my daughter acts better and nicer. When she is cheerful, more laughters happen among us. And the other way around is the same. I am not saying that we should ignore something unpleasant or abusive incidents in our lives because there are always some.  But by focusing on such events, you become bitter and gloomy and your words usually coincide your mood. Then the painful chain of abusive words take place.

In order to have kids listen to you, perhaps giving them a little time to calm down especially after exciting activities is a better idea than throwing bitter and abusive words at them like, "Shut up! Otherwise, you are out!" " Shut up! Get out of here! You don't know when to stop!" I had enough of those heartbreaking words at work. It really break my heart because those words kill all the pleasures kids had during the activities that they felt excited. It is like feeding kids cake and telling them how bad the eating cake is. It is such a wrong message. One of the teachers say, "Ok, we had fun, Now let's listen to another one. Ok?" He has much better classroom management. It makes sense to kids. And I don't have to stand like an idiot while my team-teacher is screaming at those poor kids. I heard one of the teachers shouted at a girl, "We don't need a person like you! Get out of here!" It was harsher than what the girl mumbled. I felt so awful because she said something childish ( but she is a child and that's what she is supposed to say.) like, "You had a hard luck."to one f her classmate in a pair work. Maybe the teacher meant to shout at me for doing something inappropriate. But in any cases, shouting at the girl in front of the class and killing all the joy all the students were sharing at the moment was inappropriate to me. Whatever the problems she has in her daily behavior, I can't imagine such abusive words can grow anything healthy. I think inspiring and nurturing words can only touch our soft part of the hearts and grow more of empowering words there. What this girl need to empathize how her classmate would feel if she calls him a had luck. Empathy is something kids need to learn in the course of their development. And it is our responsibility to make sure that they learn empathy.

Some days, it is so challenging to be careful with my words. I get tired and stressed out and my words become unkind. For those days, I should remember the face of every kid when the harsh words were poured onto her / him - the most confused, embarrassed and despising faces. After all, I can't change anything nor anyone but myself. I would love to have a circle of musical and inspiring words around me :-)

It's been a while...

I've been dealing with the way too many new things at work on top of preparing two presentations without having chilling & reflecting time on my own. For the first time in a while, I had a peaceful afternoon nap on my favorite sofa. I realize how tired my body and soul has been. I guess that's what happens when you suddenly start dealing with more than 100 different types of humans at work. Before this new work, I talked with only my family and some of kids at my own school. The average number of people I meet was about 5 to 6 a day. They are all familiar faces and I know what to expect. But from a few weeks ago, as my new work begun, suddenly I deal with 40 to 50 people a day and I don't know many of them. For the first time in my life, I realized why I  couldn't handle school life so well back in school days. It is just too much information to take in. At workshops and presentations, I meet new faces and share the time but I often feel like those occasions are for meeting kindred spirits and making new friends. After all, those participants who bother to join my workshop or presentations share the interests or at least have a bit of interest in what I say. So, it has been inspirational and empowering for me to do presentations. However, this job as an ALT is a whole different story. Many of participants (students) got little interests in what I say. In fact some of them including teachers show no interests in me, an ALT. For them, I am just an intruder of their fun school life. One day, she marched in from nowhere and started telling something they didn't care. To make the matter worse, she asks them what  she can do for them. What a nightmare for them! I feel sorry for their confusion but I hope they will eventually understand my intention is not bad at all. In fact, I genuinely would like to get to know them because we are there, sharing the time and space at the same time for some kind of funny and amazing coincidence. It might mean nothing if we ignore the fact that the chance to be in the same classroom at a certain time is very low almost like the level of miracle. I just can't help getting a bit too excited about that. It might be a good reason or some kind of universal mystery going right now. If so, I don't want to miss a thing. Having this crazy idea in my mind, I've been 100% open to whatever I feel at work. With all my senses I take everything going on around me and it's been exhausting. I feel so alive and appreciate the opportunities offered to me but still I haven't got used to such an intense circumstance.
On top of that, at Sunnyfield English, I have nearly 10 new students joined to our learning community last month. I'm so ecstatic but at the same time I feel a bit overwhelmed because of the flood of information I would like to take in. Unfortunately, the capacity of my heart is limitless but that of my head is quite limited. Considering the chaos in my mind, however, things have been rather smooth. In fact it has been unexpectedly good. I appreciate everyone's generosity and patience.

From next month, I will have a full schedule, 5 days a week at elementary schools, 3 days a week at  Sunnyfield English in the evening plus my own study and life. I know there are bunch of people who got much busier schedule but please imagine I am a total beginner for juggling. I can toss and catch only a ball at a time. But now I got 5 balls in my hands to juggle. I am a big believer of "Practice makes perfect" and would keep on trying to juggle well. But in a mean time, I need a group of cheer leaders.
Would you be one of them?

New journey!

How many times have I said "Really?" ever since the year of 2013 started? There were various kind of "Really?" depending on the circumstances but most of my "Really?" so far this year have been the one used for expressing joyful surprises. The first "Really?" happened when I was invited to the speakers workshop for TEDx Tokyo teachers. The second one came when I was invited by ETJ Saitama as a presenter. The third one was when my partner found my first textbooks became available online. Those  "Really?" expressed my astonishment at surreal moments.

Having lived in a peaceful yet humble place with my daughter and enjoying the slices of English world with cute little kids in our neighborhood for more than a decade, I got used to my little Cheekish la la land where we got nothing but our imagination to play with. I had such a blast time sharing all the fantastic picture books and stories kids told me about their daily findings. In such a little la la land, there is no such a thing like fear. To get up-to-date information about outside of our world, all I need was to have a chat over cuppa with wise friends from time to time. Nothing radical happened. It could be boring but surely peaceful days. I wished this make-believe style of living with kids would last forever as long as I live. My only fear was that one day my daughter would say. "Mum, don't you wanna know what is going on outside? I wanna find things out!" The day didn't come within one day but little by little she stayed outside of our land longer and longer and finally she left me in the little land on my own. Those neighborhood kids also grew out of the land and left for the much bigger world.  Looking at the empty seats, I moaned and moaned as if it was the end of the world for a while.

One night, I sat alone in the little classroom looking at those pictures of my kids on the wall. Every one of them looked happy and smily. As I started reading those picture books we shared, I got on the mental time-machine and went back to the days of laughters. All the kids were still small with chubby faces and the sticky hands, asking me what to play for the day. So, I said, "Mr. Wolf?" Kids went "YAY!" After playing in our garden for a while, we got back in our library and shared our favorite story, Goodnight, Moon. I said "Goodnight" then kids said "Good-bye" instead with big smiles on their little cute faces.
   
       Good-bye.


Their voice echoed repeatedly in my mind and I looked at them and finally said "good-bye."  Good-bye to our la la land and my early motherhood. It was time my own life started again. The early motherhood was filled with full of little surprises, findings and laughters. It was absolutely fantastic but I didn't want to stay there alone. All the kids left there to explore more complex and perhaps beautiful world. So, why don't I? After all, we learned together how to be courageous in the face of challenges and fear and stay curious via playing and sharing so many stories in the la la land, the place where the reality and the innocent fancy meets. After the time-travel, I promised to myself to be out of sentimental self-pity and enjoy the life fully.

"Really?" The latest one was happened at the end of last month after I had a job interview at Kunitachi city hall for an ALT position. It was the first time for me to do 5-min demo lesson without any preparation at all. More than a decade of make-believe life with kids has intensified my crazy imagination or something, somehow I was oddly excited to get all the serious looking men open up and talk to me in the foreign language. Surprisingly the magic I learned in the land worked! Learning how to say "good-bye" opens the door to a new journey. I would visit 4 different elementary schools in Kunitachi city. What kind of stories those kid will share with me? What stories I can introduce to them? What kind of magic would I learn?

There are so many things and people I appreciate but today I thank to those kids including Momo, my daughter, who shared multi-cultured and colored stories with me in the last decade. They got me ready for the new journey to find more stories.

Connected

Ok. I did it! I totally surprised myself. The mission has completed. I did got up on the stage in front of the crowds on the March 1st. What a leap from a mum with a little girl, wishing to find a little cozy place to live at the edge of the society to a TEDx Tokyo Teacher's speaker. For some people who are lecturers, presenters and pro-speakers,  it might not such a big deal. But for someone who leads a small and simple life, such a big event was something extraordinary. I must thank my friend, Noriko, who planted this crazy idea into my little simple mind as she posted TEDx Tokyo Teacher's speaker's application on the FB. As I mentioned before, I didn't expect myself to put myself into such a frightening situation. By nature, I think I keep my heart and mind open to something new. But I am also super self-conscious and terrified to be criticized by others. Then why did I dare to get up on the stage?  I guess my crave for sharing and communicating with others got much bigger and stronger than any anxieties and insecurities I still have inside of me. Being accepted as who I am by my family and friends is another reason to be brave and try out things I have never imagined myself doing. This year has been just awesome as my connection with others got deeper and bigger. I feel less fearful and much more liberated. I certainly have developed much thicker skin as well.

I've started reading a book about storytelling called The Storytelling Animal. I suspect that is who we are and that is what I was born to be. We read stories to know about other lives and our own. We tell stories to feel connected with each other. Via my new challenge which is to share my findings in class with other ELTs, I've already met so many unique,wonderful and inspiring people and heard so many extraordinary stories. 

In order to stay little more objective, I imagine my life like a book to write. I am the author of it and all rights served. I am not sure what next page will be like and I don't need to know how it would end. All I know at this moment is my story is getting merrier and richer with much more connections with other open souls. 

A Cheeky Story

Can you imagine yourself standing on a stage in front of 300 audience, presenting your own idea?
I honestly can't. I repeat I can NOT imagine that. But what if a little crazy idea pops up in your mind one night and acted on the idea without considering the consequences? I sometimes jump into troublesome adventure because those events make me feel so alive. All my senses got sharp and awaken by the shock. I love surprising people, especially myself. I do sometimes I can never imagine myself doing. This story is one of them.

At the beginning of this new year, one of my friends posted about an announcement that TED Tokyo teachers is seeking speakers and entertainers on FB. She challenged us to make action on this opportunity. That was right after I read a book, Dare Greatly about the real meaning of braveness. As a typical of me, I  dared to send an application form just to show how brave I could be. I thought to myself, "No way I got a chance to talk." But I was happy and proud that the fact that I filled the form and sent it to TED Tokyo.

I have been researching on code-switching and its functions in EFL classrooms for young learners, more specifically beginner students at my school. While reading numbers of research paper on code-switching of bilingual children, I came across one of catchy title, We only learn language once. The role of the mother tongue in FL classrooms:death of a dogma. (Butzkamamm, 2003) It tickled my anti-authority and rebellious mind. The paper  asserts how L1 can be one of the most effective resource for language learning and introduces Sandwich technique, founded by a german scholar, Dodson in 70's. It was such a cathy name that I wanted to dig a bit about this technique and by the end of reading his paper, I was hungry enough to taste it in my classrooms with my students.

I have been planning to have Story-based or narrative-based teaching for I am a big believer of story and its magic over mind and souls of young learners. I enjoyed lots of stories as a child and turned my daughter a big story fan. I believe those stories are the foundation of my beliefs and values. Since I collected so many picture books for myself and my daughter, I wanted to share with other kids and hope that they would learn English as they enjoy the stories. I've read a book called, The Storytelling guidebook and learned how to utilize those brilliant narratives for language learning. So, it didn't take me so long to integrate the sandwich technique into my story telling practice.

For the first time, I read a story a little bit higher than my students' English proficiency with brief Japanese translation, they were so engaged to the story that they went so quiet. They could answer all the comprehension questions after the storytelling at ease. I really liked the result and stretched the use of Japanese a bit more for pair work. I gave some pairs some tasks and asked them to work them out together. They immediately code-switched to Japanese but successfully achieved the tasks together.
I liked the spontaneous interactions among them and the support they give each other. They looked engaged and enjoying the challenges. They came up the answers for the tasks in L2 but the spontaneous interaction that occurred in the pair work was conducted in L1. But it didn't bother me after understanding the nature of code-switching and its benefits. Students felt liberated to participate the class more actively and I was amazed and amused by the interactions among students. The vibe in the classroom was positive and lively.

So, I started to hypothesize that by accepting more spontaneous usage of mother tongue in some activities would facilitate more positive learning environment and consequently have students more engaged and active learners in my classrooms.

This bilingual method was in my mind when I filled the application form and didn't have a second thought when I sent it to TED Tokyo. So, that blew me away when I got the invitation to their speaker's workshop. I humbly accepted the offer and went to their first workshop for public speech last Sunday and had one of the most exciting and though-provoking day in my life with amazingly interesting participants and two incredibly supportive, passionate and giving mentors.

I knew what I wanted to tell but as soon as I got on a stage, my mind went paralyzed with nervousness   and words didn't come out from my mouth. Nevertheless, all the participants were patient, supportive and gave me some feedback.

I am not sure yet if TED Tokyo would want me to get back on the stage and let me to get words out of my heart on March 1st. I am not sure if my little fragile heart can take the thrill.

Excuse me? Yes, I have a very fragile and sensitive heart PERIOD

But I would try to get ready for the day because it would worth trying to do something I never imagined myself doing. I am trying to surprise myself.

What makes the world wonderful?

Are you singin'? Dancin' to this beautiful tune? Can you related to this sentiment? How often do you think to yourself, "What a wonderful world!"

As I teach young learners for quite long time, I have come across with some who are chronically depressed about their lives, finding no meanings, no motivation, no pleasures at all. Their common phrases would be, "I can't do it. " "I don't know." "I am tired." "I am sleepy." "Sorry." They don't destruct other students by being noisy, nasty or naughty. They just sit on the corner of the classroom with emotionless faces. I can't feel any energy from them. They don't react any cheekiness from their teacher, either. They come and go without participating. Is this person familiar to you?

It has been tough to understand what in the world is going on in their minds because I have never been a child like them. I was physically weak but very very cheeky inside. I often imagined something really naughty to do or say in class and entertained other kids by telling the ideas during breaks. My classmates usually love my ideas and we all laughed together. Being funny was my way to connect with others. Otherwise I would be a loser and the best target for bullies for my chubby looks and sluggish way of speaking. Being funny and cheeky was my best protection in my childhood. So, sitting spiritlessly like a zombi in the classroom was never occurred to me. The bullies would have killed me spiritually if I did so.

Those zombified kids for some reasons are not slow learners or chubby like I was. In fact most of them are bright and good-looking to me. And perhaps they might be considered as "good" kids for they are quiet and most of the time do what I ask to do. I just can't feel the vigorous spirits that most kids possess which bother me so much and need to know the causes. In spite of my strong interest or concern towards those zombified ones, they won't usually open their mouths unless I managed to build a rapport with them somehow. It has been fifty-fifty whether I can build rapport or not. If parents allow me to let me be with them for a while, I have more chances to get to know them but if I have only a few months,
 I am useless.

In my long career, I met a few kids of this kind who courageously opened their hearts to me and talked about their issues. Those were very very emotional moments and I salute them for their courage to open up and share their vulnerability with someone like me who share only an hour a week with them. From what I heard from them, I got a hypothesis that they have enormously high expectation for their lives and so their parents are and they are extremely goal-oriented. They have tendency to ignore all the pleasure of learning which lies in the learning process. No matter what outcome is if the process is worth participating, you will try again even at the face of big failure or setback. The kind of perseverance or "faith" in your potential is needed for them. They are perfectionist and feel constantly disappointed with their skills and talent because of the sky high expectations. When this persons meet  other perfectionist in their family, things intensified and every learning opportunity become a test or a judgement of his/ her talent. Eventually they stop trying and go for safe way, which is not bad at all. I don't mean to criticize anyone's life style but if this perfectionism leads some kids chronically depressed or kills their natural curiosity, I can't sit around and let it go. I would like to do something with them because they are part of the wonderful world we live in. They can take part in as who they are in this strange world with full of unique creatures including humans. And the truth is I've never met anyone perfect so far. There might be some but I've never net them yet and according to my wise grandma, there is none.

This kind of zombified people due to the perfectionism is defined as "fixed mindset" and the other who have more faith in their potentiality is "growth mindset", according to Dweck. She asserts that such mindsets come from what authorities (parents and teachers) say to them in their childhood when they are still so vulnerable to their words.

This is my topic for my Methodology assignment. I would like to examine myself as a teacher/ mum so that I won't at least hurt any children. I am aware of my limitation. I am aware that there is little tiny bit of time I can share with my kids. But within the precious time, I hope I can help them to see their amazing potential and amazingly bright and positive future not in the mere opportunistic way or idealistic way. I would like them to see their potential in the more realistic way via eliciting their psychological strength, toughness and perseverance at the face of setbacks. I need to research more how I can possibly help them find all the quality they posses inside but I know I will if I don't give up.

It is quite funny that my grandpa gave me this beautiful name, Chiyuki. In chinese character, it means "Never give-up" I think my grandpa's only expectation for me was to be growth mindset and live this precious life in my own unique way. With his unconditional love and unjudgmental wish for my well-being, I become who I am in spite of more than few times of severe fights with fatal sicknesses.

Seligman asserts that there are 4 features to fulfill to flourish your life :
positive emotion
engagement at work
positive relationship
accomplishment / meaningful life

My hypothesis is that parents and teachers play key figures to cultivate the essential mindset for kids to realize well-being on their own in their adulthood.

Do you see the beauties and wonderful features of the world? Then we are on the same page :-)

Home

What is home? Where do you call home? Where do you feel at home? Is that the place you live now? Is that the place you are originally from? Is that the place you work at?

This weekend, I had an amazing experience at an occasion that could be so overwhelming and even traumatic. For my first solo presentation, (I had more than few experiences to do presentation with some other fantastic teachers) I had more than 50 audience unexpectedly. Considering the quality of the product, Happy Valley, it is understandable that it got so much attention but it was from late afternoon and I am nobody in EFL world so that I assumed it would be rather a small number of audience might come. I asked some of my mates come and join my first presentation to cerebrate the new start but never imagined anything like that (nearly 70 audience) happens. It was so surreal and phenomenal to me. I couldn't believe my own eyes and needed to walk away from the room with full of nice smily and friendly faces. Outside of the room, I thought to myself, "What am I doing here? What if everyone got so disappointed? How I am gonna apologize to the audience who came to the presentation to learn something?" Then the panicky feeling swallowed this small being. I wasn't ready to stand up and talk to the people in front of me. They might have left their kids at home for the presentation. They might have many other better things to do. It would be a waste for them if they get nothing from this presentation because of me. All the panicky thought went through my mind and my heart started pounding so badly that I didn't know how to breath. I had to turned my back to the audience to take a deep deep breath.
At the moment I turned my back and walked a few more steps away from the door of the room, there was a tall man with a big warm smile on his face. Very gentle and assuring smile. I walked up to him and said, "I am not sure what I am doing here." He said, "They are not audience. They are your students. 3 or 4 years old. All you need to do is to go and teach them like usual. "

His words worked like a magic. My panic subsided and suddenly something exciting emerged. And I thought to myself, "Wow! That sounds fun. with nearly 70 kids in class? What kind of cool occasion it can be? Cool and awesome!" Instantly I was ready to play and learn with the audience. So, i turned around and looked at the lovely and smily my friends, students and bunch of amazing supporters who have encouraged me to present what I believe from my 17 years of experience with amazing kids. I started to remember all the rosy-cheeked cute children I had. In my mind, they were smiling and cheering me to do the best I could. The last person I caught with my eyes was my partner, quietly standing at one corner of the room with the little shy smile on his face. Then I heard his words from the previous night, "You would be fantastic." I went irritatedly, "How do you know?" But he said, " I just know." Honestly at that point, it didn't sound so promising but at the moment I caught his eyes as I was introduced as a presenter for Happy Valley, his words also got me do the best I could.

After the first song Hello was introduced, I knew how lovely the audience was and was sure that I could count on them to learn something from the presentation slides even without me. Even though my mouth was somehow so dried that I seriously thought my lips would stuck on my front teeth and I would look ridiculously funny in the first five minutes, I felt rather excited than panicked. With  fantastic helps from the audience, once in a life time superb performance of my partner and his co-auther/ good mate and of course the great support from the Happy Valley team, the presentation went extremely better than I expected. I truly felt the power of collective kindness and positive vibe. I was no longer the presenter, I was a participant of a big happy learning event.

What I learned from this experience is that the presenter's role for this kind of educational event is to facilitate a space where all the fantastically enthusiastic teachers would meet others and collaborate their skills and talents to improve our practice.  A presenter is a participant of the event and her work is to set up the ground where all the audience can work together.

My partner and other fantastic presenters I have met  have showed me so that I was familiar with the concept but this time I really understand the role of presenter from my experience. It is the same as my ideal teacher. It is still easier said than done matter for this newbie. I guess all I can do is to do the best I can and learn from the other participants whether I am with my little learners or big learners.

If the definition of home is somewhere you feel secure and relaxed and a place you are from, my home is a classroom where I can collaborate with other participants to find something new and unexpected about the world we all share.

By talking, mingling and connecting with kindred spirits, a cafe, a restaurant, an apartment room, a corner of a town can be a classroom / our home like my favorite singer, Phillip Phillips sings,

"You are not alone cuz I 'm gonna make this place your home."

Ruby Tuesday

I blame this sentiment on the grayish sky. This morning the image of myself trying to circling movement on the horizontal bar over and over with Ruby Tuesday as a BGM keeps on flashing back to my mind. The combination of  this recurrent image and the song must be some kind of reflection of my current mindset.

When I was the 1st grader, my teacher, Mrs. Takagi, experienced and passionate genuine educator with motherly love showing on her face, said to the class,

"We will practice backward circling movement on the horizontal bar today. "

Oh, no! I thought to myself.

As a bit chubby and slow kid, this kind of challenge means another chance to be a joke for the class. I couldn't see myself doing such a trick on a thin bar like a monkey. As I predicted, I couldn't do it in spite of my effort while others did it as if it was the easiest thing in the world. Children can be very brutal with a slow one especially with a little chubby girl who were as quiet as a mouse. I tried to be as low profile as possible back then because I knew how harshly I could be teased. But unintentionally Mrs. Takagi put me in the center of spotlight. Unfortunately this light wasn't really glorious. It was glooming to me. I don't recall exact words from other kids or anything but I remember the humiliation.

Then I remember as soon as I got back home I asked my mum to get a horizontal bar for me to practice.
I have no idea how she found the portable horizontal bar for me but I remember I put it right in front of a big tree in our backyard in order to use the trunk as a support to pull myself to the bar. I could pull myself up enough to spin around the bar when I used the tree trunk and this practice became my daily routine. After school, I came back right home and trained myself over and over on the horizontal bar under the tree till the sun hid behind the mountain. My mum as my best cheer leader must have said something encouraging but I don't recall any of that. All I remember is the sensation I felt inside when my body went up in the air and spin around the bar. As I did the same movement over and over, it became almost automatic and one day something miracle happened. It must have been a few weeks later since I started my secret self-training, I was able to pull myself up with only a step on the trunk. After a while I was enjoying the sensation of spinning around, I made a spin without using the tree trunk. I couldn't believed what happened and tried that again. Surely enough, I could do it. This event wasn't the last one I had to work so hard since I was a chubby and slow kid but I remember this triumph so vividly. Maybe just because it was my first big challenge and I was not a much of challenger back then. The horizontal bar and the big Ginkgo tree, the only witness of the moment of triumph, are gone but the memory remains.

At a face of a big challenge or change, I often think of this 6 year old little girl I once was and somehow everything looks possible if I put my effort enough. Ruby Tuesday is an ideal person I always long to be. She is carefree and fearless. So the combination of the image and the song is the most powerful mood booster and I am glad it came back to me today.

Life In Technicolor

Since I started facilitating a space for learning, playing, discovering and sharing the world around us with children via  English about 17 years ago, I've been asking myself, "Why?"
In other words: The purpose/ philosophy of myself for my profession.

At the beginning, as a single girl, who enjoyed her life as a backpacker so much, there was no philosophy behind. I just enjoyed the presence of children in my life and  this job would certainly get some of them in my life constantly. And sharing some incredible experiences I had while traveling with kids seemed like a good idea. I also thought it would be awesome if some kids pack up and go to see the world on their own eyes. Back then, English was a mere useful tool for me to share with kids. I didn't think I would make "teaching" my career for I was busy for discovering the world.

Things turned upside down since my daughter came along. As I heard her first cry and held her in my arms, instantly she became the world to explore. I wanted to build a comfortable nest for her instead of drifting around. As this huge mind shift occurred, teaching English  for children became more than temporary job, something fun to do while traveling. It became a career to pursue. I have made so many mistakes and errors in my youth but this particular decision was right. This career provided the best environment I could possibly provide for my baby girl who is no longer so little now. She has grown up among other children and adults who learn for various purposes and ways. I really appreciate for their presence in our lives. Otherwise, single parent household could be daunting for both of us. Of course there were ups and downs like any other families have but our lives have been blessed with lots of laughters, exciting challenges and helping hands. We learn what compassion is all about and see goodness, kindness and generosity in people. Compassion doesn't know pity, prejudice or other ignorant judgements. I truly thank for everyone in our lives for I have never seen crying face of my daughter because of her circumstance.

Our circumstance has been radically changed since we moved into a new nest with a new member of our household, my partner. He is the one who has been supporting me in the closest position to pursue my career as a mum, post-graduate students and a teacher for young learners. I hope I would be able to make this most challenging career, M.A. Mama as my life-long research project because the world of TEFL for young learners is the most adventurous, dynamic and exciting place to explore through eyes of not only a teacher but a parent. Every challenge I get provokes my rebelliousness and stimulates my curiosity. Every smile I see in my classroom motivates me to be better personally and professionally. Every progress I feel in my children adds more meaning to my precious yet tiny life.

In sum, this career has become my life-long journey now and the purpose of my journey is to learn and share what I learn with next generation in the hope of generating more life-long learners.

Flourish!

I've been reading a book, Flourish, written by the founder of positive psychology, Martin Seligman with full of practical ideas for well-being. He says, 

"Positive mental health is a presence: the presence of positive emotion, the presence of engagement, the presence of good relationship and the presence of accomplishment."

Being healthy doesn't mean merely being absence of mental or physical sickness. 

In Chapter 6 of the book, he talks about academic accomplishment and the essential role of self-decipline in order to flourish in classroom as a learner. Not high IQ but self-decipline/ willpower works better to get better grades. Which explains why generally girls get better grades than boys. Generally girls got more self-decipline, some research show. 

I haven't really studied this tricky business, gender yet but from my personal observation on kids for about 17 years, I suspect there are some distinguishable characteristics between boys and girls. Perhaps this view is based on conventional social belief but wherever I go, I find some boys with no self-decipline, especially at bars. And I suspect this is quite universal fact. 

Whether this view is scientifically valid or not, I personally prefer the idea that self-decipline works to be academically excellent because willpower or self-decipline can be nurtured or learned. As long as it can be acquired, there is a hope for everyone. 

There is a terrible notion that some people are born to be winners with their high intelligence. This notion seems like one of the worst common demotivators for young learners because it sends a message that it doesn't matter how hard you try because the intelligence is a fixed ability. In fact, those who are excellent in any kinds of filed are the hardest worker with full of self-decipline to accomplish the high goal they set for themselves. 

Albert Einstein says

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer. "
 
I found the same notion in the assertion of Seligman in the book and that's what I believe at the moment. 

Last night, my 13 year old, the best whinger of the world, daughter tried to push herself to study for the test at school. As she failed to motivate herself, she started blaming her lack of motivation on the school system, textbooks, teachers and the ultimate excuse, biological inferiority. So, I explained what Seligman says on academic accomplishment. The little philosopher examined the logic in the story for a while and asked me the validity of it. As I assured her with my full-hearted faith in the notion, she went back to her room to carry out her mission of the day- study for the test. 

I suppose my mission as a mum accomplished and I feel flourished :-)

Mind-storming Weekend

Unexpectedly wonderful thing happens from time to time when you are not afraid of getting out of your comfort zone and being a bit more adventurous.

 I had one of the most unexpected and exciting reunion at JALT national conference in Hamamatsu on weekend with my dearest and oldest mates of all. He was not a kind of person who would do a presentation at such a big event like JALT national. He was a easy-going mellow busker several decades ago when we were just kids on the street of northern island of Japan, Hokkaido. Almost every night, he played some familiar tunes with his guitar for drunk business people and I danced to those tunes next to him for some fun. Life seemed as fragile and light as feathers and we enjoyed living as lightly as possible. We shared a tiny flat without a bath. We had no money but bunch of jolly mates and party days. One day I remember we didn't have any money at all even for buying lunch for the day. We were starving but laughing at each other for our stupidity. Everyone must have one of those wild days in your youth. We were young and didn't know the meaning of responsibility. We didn't break rules because there were none.

After decades later, both of us got wonderful partners and a beautiful girl and learned what responsible mean. Both of us like the way it is now. We got much busier with less time for ourselves but we are still happy because we have learned where happiness is for each of us. It still was one of the most exciting moment when we met again in a completely different reality. Our hair got much much shorter, more lines and spots on our faces and perhaps extra bits of flesh but the cheeky and free souls are still detectable in our eyes. Our reunion was short and brief yet enough time to enjoy our company and realize there are somethings that never change. 

During this innovative and revolutionary weekend with educators, I've confirmed that the golden rule I've learned to keep my life as wonderous as possible: Make new friends and keep the old. 

Everyone has a different style of learning and this is my style. I learn from others via interactions. At the conner of social events, my life-long learning begins and never ends. I find new theories, approaches, ideas and faces/ sides of myself via others views. 

I feel more obliged to share this insight with my children/ students. With child-like curiosity and steadfast will to live for today, English can be a vehicle to take you to the realm where you can find never-ending resources for rule-breaking and stimulating stories to share.

Thank you all for mind-blowing weekend!